Met up with Christian and Colette yesterday - newly back from base camp Nepal. They brought me back some lovely Nepalese gifts including some prayer flags to replenish my existing ones which are looking a little windswept. It was great to hear their experiences.
Had a great day out in Hull. Den came with me for my radiotherapy and then we went into Hull to do a bit of shopping. I like Lush products and made a beeline for the shop. When you go in they immediately jump on you and start to tell you stuff you already know. It puts me off and if they are not careful I will just say ' Boring' and walk out. Anyhow this particular one obviously realised I was getting to the 'B' part and cleverly left me alone. One of the productsI wanted was CACA ( french for shit) which is their Henna product. Henna is a natural hair dye- I am not allowed to use chemical dye for 6 months. If anyone knows why please tell me. Anyhow I went over to the checkout with my Henna and asked how much of the slab I needed to use. Her colleague asked a very pertinent question. How long is the hair. I answered by removing my furry fur trappers hat. OMG you should have seen their faces, it was classic. I loved it !! Dennis wished he knew what I was going to do as he would have taken the picture which we could have posted here. Unfortunately you will just have to use your imagination. !!
After that and a nice pub lunch we went to the Deep. Brilliant, went a few years back and always wanted to go again. I love that there is just a bit of glass between you and all those creatures. At one point you feel you can just step off the cliff and be in their with them.
I am knackered now and getting dinner ready. But its a nice knackered instead of ill knackered.
Tomorrow Sue is coming with me. After the radiotherapy we are off to get Botox and Fillers Ha !! that will kick the cancer up the arse, thinking it can rob me of my looks as well as my booby... then more RT in Beverley. Oh I'm soo lucky
Wednesday, 23 November 2011
Monday, 21 November 2011
Hairy Mary
What can I say ? Recieved an invite from the NHS ( from Castle Hill ) inviting me for a free breast screen. I have emailed them and politely put them in the picture, ironic isnt it?? Still I'm not suggesting its not a good thing because it is. And three years ago I had one and got the all clear. Shame is its every three years, if it had been two I might have had a different story. But thats Murphy's law or Karma, whatever. It just made me smile.
Anyhow on the last week of radiotherapy and then FREEDOM. I shall not know what to do with myself. Having said that next Monday shall be hectic as I am having my kitchen floor tiled, followed fairly closely by having the rest of the kitchen refitted. Hopefully it shall be completed by 18th Dec as I am having a little midwinter solstice party on 21st as I usually do.
Enjoying my returning eyelashes - celebrated a bit this morning by applying mascara. They are still only half there but it pleases me to get the old slap on before I leave the house. Its all in my head as no-one else would notice, they are so tiny, but its my head that counts and thats the important bit. As for the rest on my hair thats growing too. My head hair is really fluffy and looks a bit darker although its hard to tell what colour I shall end up with. Annoyingly the hairs on my legs reached monkey status at the weekend and I have had to shave them, as has the fluff on my face. It the light I look really hairy it bizarre....
Anyhow on the last week of radiotherapy and then FREEDOM. I shall not know what to do with myself. Having said that next Monday shall be hectic as I am having my kitchen floor tiled, followed fairly closely by having the rest of the kitchen refitted. Hopefully it shall be completed by 18th Dec as I am having a little midwinter solstice party on 21st as I usually do.
Enjoying my returning eyelashes - celebrated a bit this morning by applying mascara. They are still only half there but it pleases me to get the old slap on before I leave the house. Its all in my head as no-one else would notice, they are so tiny, but its my head that counts and thats the important bit. As for the rest on my hair thats growing too. My head hair is really fluffy and looks a bit darker although its hard to tell what colour I shall end up with. Annoyingly the hairs on my legs reached monkey status at the weekend and I have had to shave them, as has the fluff on my face. It the light I look really hairy it bizarre....
Friday, 18 November 2011
1 week left
Cant believe that this time next week I will have finished my treatment. At last after 8 months I shall be free. ( I pray) Mind you I shall be busy with getting this new kitchen in and Christmas shopping and various party type things. So I reckon I wont have much time to think about it till the New Year. Then I shall hopefully be busy making final arrangements to go to Nepal.
I keep saying hopefully because of course there is always the danger of IT coming back. As much as I am not going to dwell on IT, it is still none the less the elephant in the room. I am concerned that IT might spoil my chances of getting back to Nepal, and it cloudes everything. I suppose its like tempting fate. Part of me is scared that if I take the attitude IT has gone forever, then Murphys law takes over. Its like double jeopardy. I told you its a head fuck didnt I ??
Anyhow whatever!! At least I now have eyelashes that are almost long enough to have mascara on!! And a load of fuzz on my face which looks really funny together with the growing fuzz on my head!!
Gotta get on now and start clearing out some more rubbish. Sorting kitchen stuff in preparation for the new floor coming a week on Monday....
I keep saying hopefully because of course there is always the danger of IT coming back. As much as I am not going to dwell on IT, it is still none the less the elephant in the room. I am concerned that IT might spoil my chances of getting back to Nepal, and it cloudes everything. I suppose its like tempting fate. Part of me is scared that if I take the attitude IT has gone forever, then Murphys law takes over. Its like double jeopardy. I told you its a head fuck didnt I ??
Anyhow whatever!! At least I now have eyelashes that are almost long enough to have mascara on!! And a load of fuzz on my face which looks really funny together with the growing fuzz on my head!!
Gotta get on now and start clearing out some more rubbish. Sorting kitchen stuff in preparation for the new floor coming a week on Monday....
Thursday, 17 November 2011
Only 6 more
Getting through Radiotherapy. So far its been fine - no problems. In fact time has gone so quickly since it started and I only have 6 more to go Hurrah !!! Then its over - for the time being. End of treatment, unbelievable. Brilliant !!
Shall get chucked out of the system until end of January when I have an appointment with the Oncologist. I guess I shall have a scan sometime after that. Not really bothered about getting scanned, I mean if there is something there do you really want to know at that point ?? Anyhow, shall get it done but in no rush.
Den came with me yesterday and we went to Beverley. I had forgotten how nice it is. We had a really good time wandering around the shops before coming home for a rest.
Christmas is just around the corner and I,m having my kitchen refitted before that ( mad I know). Once the Radiotherapy ends I shall be really busy with emptying my cupboards in readiness for that. But we want to have a New Year, New Beginning so felt it would be right to get that all out of the way. I just hope we can get it all done ......
Shall get chucked out of the system until end of January when I have an appointment with the Oncologist. I guess I shall have a scan sometime after that. Not really bothered about getting scanned, I mean if there is something there do you really want to know at that point ?? Anyhow, shall get it done but in no rush.
Den came with me yesterday and we went to Beverley. I had forgotten how nice it is. We had a really good time wandering around the shops before coming home for a rest.
Christmas is just around the corner and I,m having my kitchen refitted before that ( mad I know). Once the Radiotherapy ends I shall be really busy with emptying my cupboards in readiness for that. But we want to have a New Year, New Beginning so felt it would be right to get that all out of the way. I just hope we can get it all done ......
Monday, 14 November 2011
A plan
Madame Butterfly was lovely- such a sad story. Poor girl horribly taken advantage of and killing herself because she has been disowned and dishonoured at 18. How often does that happen now still??
Had a lovely walk on the beach yesterday with Keiron and Graham, it was so still and mild. I am so glad that I can at last go for a decent walk and enjoy it, it was one of the things I really missed being able to do. It makes me feel normal again.
Michelle came with me to the hospital this morning and we had a good time together chatting about all sorts ( as you do) and we ended up doing a meditation, its always nice to share that with someone.
I am thinking of going back to Nepal in Feb next year. Oh I know about the insurance stuff and everything. But this all started in Nepal and as before I feel I have unfinished business there. Ideally this time we would like to be there for Losa, Tibetian New Year. Which we just missed last year. I also want to visit a Bon monestry in Northern India - Menri where Chongtul Rinpoche comes from. And a school for nuns run by a Nepalese nun outside Kathmandu. As well as revisiting Lumbini and Pokahara and spending more time there. So Universe willing we will get there. I really do hope I can make it ....
Had a lovely walk on the beach yesterday with Keiron and Graham, it was so still and mild. I am so glad that I can at last go for a decent walk and enjoy it, it was one of the things I really missed being able to do. It makes me feel normal again.
Michelle came with me to the hospital this morning and we had a good time together chatting about all sorts ( as you do) and we ended up doing a meditation, its always nice to share that with someone.
I am thinking of going back to Nepal in Feb next year. Oh I know about the insurance stuff and everything. But this all started in Nepal and as before I feel I have unfinished business there. Ideally this time we would like to be there for Losa, Tibetian New Year. Which we just missed last year. I also want to visit a Bon monestry in Northern India - Menri where Chongtul Rinpoche comes from. And a school for nuns run by a Nepalese nun outside Kathmandu. As well as revisiting Lumbini and Pokahara and spending more time there. So Universe willing we will get there. I really do hope I can make it ....
Friday, 11 November 2011
1st week in the bag
Well thats it !! First week completed. Feeling fine so far ( fingers crossed).
All those familiar with the Mayan prophecies will be aware that of the 10ths full moon the countdown to 21/12 begins. So at 11.11am on 11/11/11 I had a meditation, along with a load of other lightworkers. I sent love and universal energy to our planet and to all sentient beings, and to myself. It felt really good to do that.
And now I,m off to lunch with Michelle. We,re off to Tealby, first to do a bit of RT ( retail therapy) and then to the pub for a really nice meal. Tomorrow evening I,m off to Madame Butterfly and out on Sunday for lunch with Keiron and Graham. So a lovely few days ahead. I hope you all have the same...
All those familiar with the Mayan prophecies will be aware that of the 10ths full moon the countdown to 21/12 begins. So at 11.11am on 11/11/11 I had a meditation, along with a load of other lightworkers. I sent love and universal energy to our planet and to all sentient beings, and to myself. It felt really good to do that.
And now I,m off to lunch with Michelle. We,re off to Tealby, first to do a bit of RT ( retail therapy) and then to the pub for a really nice meal. Tomorrow evening I,m off to Madame Butterfly and out on Sunday for lunch with Keiron and Graham. So a lovely few days ahead. I hope you all have the same...
Wednesday, 9 November 2011
Pandora's Box
Just back from my third radiotherapy session, all ok still. Only thing is they have moved me onto a different machine as they say it means I wont have to wait too long. Thats not a problem except they have changed my times. Whereas before they were all 9.30 ( easy to remember) now for the next few days they are all over the place and then after that they are all at 9.20!!! Like tomorrow its 10.20, Fri 9.40 and next Tuesday its 8.30 !! Bloody Hell Dennis shall have his work cut out on that day, he'l have to push me out of bed !!
Did a stupid thing on Monday. I decide to google triple negative breast cancer. OMG why did I do that? So far I have managed to avoid scaring myself. Now I have found out that TNC has the most incidences of secondaries of all the cancers, and that they usually occur within 3 years, and it likes brain, liver and bone. On a good note, if you manage to be clear for 5 years the risk of secondaries drops to below that of other breast cancers. Such a stupid thing to do. I promised myself I wouldnt look but its too late now, I have opened Pandora's box and let the demons out. So now I have decided there is deffinatley no way I,m wasting time having reconstructive surgery next year. No sir. And I have to live with my new found knowledge.
This morning during radiotherapy I decided that each time I am zapped I am visualising killing the bastard. I am seeing it as a black slimy mess of little seeds and the radiowave just knocks it out completely, leaving lovely new pink cells. It makes me feel as though I am contributing something and makes me feel better anyway!!
Been a difficult week away as Dens van has blown up and is in the garage. This means that as soon as I get home he has to take my car. And next doors feral tomcat attacked Polly yesterday and has hurt her foot, so I have to wait for Den to get back so I can take her to the Vets. Hopefully the van will get fixed soon. Just life, but on top of everything else its a bugger!
On a very happy note I am pleased to announce that my eyelashes have re-appearred. Hurray, this means I can soon coat them with mascara and shall at last feel dressed when I leave the house ....
Did a stupid thing on Monday. I decide to google triple negative breast cancer. OMG why did I do that? So far I have managed to avoid scaring myself. Now I have found out that TNC has the most incidences of secondaries of all the cancers, and that they usually occur within 3 years, and it likes brain, liver and bone. On a good note, if you manage to be clear for 5 years the risk of secondaries drops to below that of other breast cancers. Such a stupid thing to do. I promised myself I wouldnt look but its too late now, I have opened Pandora's box and let the demons out. So now I have decided there is deffinatley no way I,m wasting time having reconstructive surgery next year. No sir. And I have to live with my new found knowledge.
This morning during radiotherapy I decided that each time I am zapped I am visualising killing the bastard. I am seeing it as a black slimy mess of little seeds and the radiowave just knocks it out completely, leaving lovely new pink cells. It makes me feel as though I am contributing something and makes me feel better anyway!!
Been a difficult week away as Dens van has blown up and is in the garage. This means that as soon as I get home he has to take my car. And next doors feral tomcat attacked Polly yesterday and has hurt her foot, so I have to wait for Den to get back so I can take her to the Vets. Hopefully the van will get fixed soon. Just life, but on top of everything else its a bugger!
On a very happy note I am pleased to announce that my eyelashes have re-appearred. Hurray, this means I can soon coat them with mascara and shall at last feel dressed when I leave the house ....
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