Busy weekend

Had a great weekend at the MBS Fair, met up with a lot of my old customers, who didnt know I was ' back in the saddle' . Such a peaceful lovely atmosphere, and great energies.  Our stand was next door to Simon Goodfellows- the clairvoyant with whom Ive been attending courses. So it was great to have a few laughs and jokes during the quieter times ( not that Simon had any). Today I am feeling a bit tired and stiff, having done about 16 treatments over the 2 days. My right arm is complaining a bit, so I am listening to my body and resting it ( well only typing). I am not doing any treatments until Thursday so will be well rested by then.  I'm in no hurry these days, have learnt to take things easy and enjoy.  Lifes sweeter that way I can assure you.
Am still feeling a big pull toward something, but still cant tie it down. Weird I know. And annoying and frustrating for me. I do know I'm not the only one feeling like this. Its as though a shift is coming, I can sense it but have no idea of what it will entail. Its a bit like a kid looking forward to Christmas, the promise of what will be in the stocking on Christmas morning.  Gosh as I typed this a big gust of wind has blown in and smashed a picture I had up in my shed of Lumbini. Shards of glass are all over my floor. Another little job for me.
Very frustratingly I am not having any luck in finding a local venue in which to hold my meditation classes. I have a few people interested in learning but the halls are either booked out or the Revs and Vicars wont allow it. Can you believe that?  One local Vicars said its too new age ! Meditation is nearly as old as time, wouldnt you think the church would appreciate a group of people taking time out for quiet reflection ?? Its no wonder their congregations are dwindling.
I have nearly completed my essays on my experiences in Bali. Perhaps I will post those too

MBS Fair

Getting ready for the local Mind Body Spirit Fair this weekend. Another event/ happening that I thought would not be done again. Ha so funny how all these milestones come and go and another crops up. It will be fun to be there, always an enjoyable event. But this one will be even more special for that.
 Just returned home from a Reiki session at the Odyssey. Had a wierd vision of the infinity symbol as soon as David started on me. Not sure what it means, but David and I always have a very indepth spiritual discussion before the session. And today I was talking about taking on more energy work. And how I have a real need to keep writing and recording everything. In fact still mulling over the idea of bringing my experiences all together and writing a book. Energy work always makes me feel very creative. Somthing is bubbling just below the surface of my sub concious and I cant quite reach it, but I know its there. Its as though I am creating something deep within. I can feel it but cant quite identify it yet. Its very frustrating, but I even enjoy writing about that. Its as though I need to pour out all my feelings, the good, the bad and the down right ugly. Its quite cathartic, but as my thoughts and feelings duck and dive its hard to pin them down to paper sometimes. Maybe sometime soon my mine will relax and allow this ' thing' inside to come out, I feel it will be like giving birth.  We'l wait for the labour pains. 
As for the rest of me, I know that since my return from Bali I am much stronger. Not just physically but emotionally and mentally. I didnt think I worried too much before about what people think, but now I realise I care even less. I also have a new found strenght of mind. I know what I want- isnt that great ? To no longer have to factor in other peoples opinions?  Ok I mean I am still open to suggestions and opinions that are constructive. Just not worrying about getting it wrong. Afterall what does it really matter?  I'm not a brain surgeon. So if I get something wrong its my mistake and I can learn from it. Its much better than doing what someone else tells me and then it going wrong. I guess I am just taking responsibilty for my own actions at last. How great is that ?

Just a normal night in Bali

Hope you enjoy my next offering, this one has been bursting to come out, so here it is ...

Oh my God, please not me again!!  The Naga was coming straight at me; his long black hair was standing out from his body, his eyes red and bloodshot, staring straight at me. This time I was frightened.

Minutes earlier we had been briefed with regard to our meeting with the Naga. Ken our guide had warned us not to fight it but just to relax and let it do its work. Naga‘s are earth spirits that work for the good of man. Thimm our healer was going to invite the spirit of the Naga from the depths of the earth, into his body, to channel the energy so that the Naga would have access to our energy bodies to ‘eat’ out any negativity or bad energy that could cause us problems and disease in the future.

Before Thimm became the Naga I noticed him scanning us all with his eyes, and he kept coming back to me. I didn’t say anything to the others but somehow I knew I would be the first to be cleansed. As Thimm began to channel the spirit his body began to change in front of our eyes.  He is a tiny little man, but as the Naga entered his body grew. The change was astonishing, and pretty scary.  His long shiny hair became course and thick and stood out from his head. His eyes got bigger and redder. He started making low guttural noises that developed into loud roars.  Once the Naga had fully entered his body it grabbed a handful of lighted joss sticks, about 15 in all and put the lighted ends into its mouth bit them off and ate them. The energy in the room was super charged, it had completely changed from a few minutes earlier.  The Naga then started to run around the room, in front and then to the back of us. Ken and his helpers were running around to, coming behind us when the Naga was in front and then chasing around in front of us when the Naga approached us from the rear. It appeared like an ethereal game of tag. The tension in the Ashram grew.  My friends and I glancing at one another and then back at the spirit, trying to guess who would be chosen first.  I could see a mixture of fear and amazement in their faces which I knew I was reflecting back. Was this really happening? Suddenly the Naga stopped in its tracks, my friends and I like frightened rabbits in the glare of headlights, frozen to the spot, unable to move stared back. Then the spirit and I locked eyes. I was aware in that brief moment of time that I was looking into the eyes, not of a quiet peaceful little man but a primeval seething energetic mass of malevolence. Something much older than time. It truly was not of this world. The tension was mounting. Just as I tried to look away it ran across the room, straight for me. Ok so this is it, I was correct, I was first. Its eyes by now were brilliant red, seemingly lit up from the inside by the flames of the incense. As it charged I was vaguely aware of Ken and his helpers running behind me. As the Naga made contact I remembered Ken’s words and opened my arms to receive what was coming. I was not however prepared for the force of the contact which knocked me straight off my feet. The boys caught me and we all became entangled as they held me, to protect me from hitting the floor and to assist the Naga.  And here we were, the Naga started to bite my right breast. I could feel his mouth on my implant, he didn’t use his arms, which remained limp by his sides, but the power was immense. He was right on top of me, growling and making chewing eating noises.  I looked up and saw my friends looking down at me, some were looking very concerned, other stifling nervous laughter. Was this the normal behaviour of a Balinese healer?  I felt like the victim of a gang rape, being held down for the gratification of the leader, only my logic told me this was not so. The Naga was moving now up to my collar bone. This was where the Cancer had spread in my lymph nodes, I have a dark patch there, a memory of the radiation treatment. It continued up my neck although it was working in my energy field now so at least the actual biting had stopped.  Then as suddenly as it started the spirit jumped up and left me. Lying in a dishevelled heap of the floor. I scrabbled to cover my modesty as the boys lifted me back onto my feet. Thank god it’s over, now I can relax and watch the Naga work on my friends. They all shot me a glance to check if I was OK, after all they would be next. I glanced back with an I’m OK look to put them at ease.  The Naga commenced its strange prancing, again looking in turn at each of us. Just as I was telling myself to relax and enjoy as my ordeal was over we locked eyes once more. Oh no please God, I recognised that look. Once again I was in the glare of the headlights. No one said it would come back a second time. Surely not? Then the familiar rush of bodies as the Naga came back, the boys surprised as well only just got to me as the Naga pounced. This time I couldn’t help myself and my arms shot across my body instinctively in self-protection. It was of no use against the Naga. This time it went to the left side beneath my left breast and started feeding. My friends as surprised as I was were now looking at me in shock and concern. The boys, trying to keep me from being hurt as we rolled around on the tiled floor. I was by now feeling shock and horror, when would this surreal ordeal end?  What was it that made the Naga come back, what had it found? Once again as suddenly as before the Naga shot to its feet and left me. I had had enough. Please don’t come back. Go to one of the others.  And it did, one by one it picked off my friends, some were bitten on the back, some in the stomachs. Then it turned on the healer’s wife and daughter (something it apparently never does). And then onto the guys that were helping us. No one escaped.  I was so glad I was first as it was almost as horrific to witness as it was to participate.  In the end the Naga was appeased by being given a whole raw egg, which it devoured. Then after a quick race around the Ashram it collapsed onto the floor and the healer got up. Once more the quiet gentle man that he is.  He just got up and gently laughed, checking that we were all OK.  The weird thing is after all that had happened to us we didn’t really discuss it. We just went to the bar as if it was just another normal Saturday night.

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Back to Normal ?

Gosh its been so long since I posted !! I now have a new treatment room at the shop. Its all green and blue- had to be as I have been obsessed with those colours since Bali. I also have a six foot high Buddha print on the wall, care of the local printing firm that I have been driving nuts to produce just the way I wanted it. When I went in and said this is what I want, the guy designing it said, ' my mother told me never to say I want, you should say this is what I would like'. To which I said ' thats fine, you can speak the way your mother would like, if that sits well with you, as for me, I want, and always will '! Anyhow I got what I wanted ( of course). Poor Dennis has been slaving away painting the room - just the way I wanted it ( of course) for which I an extremely grateful, and a little guilty. Anyhow I have anounced on facebook that I will open next Wednesday, however the Universe as always has other plans and I am booked to do a back massage, tomorrow. That said I am receiving bookings for Bars, my newest therapy, which is energy work- which is really where my heart now lies. The local newspaper tell me they will come to the local Mind ,Body, Spirit fair and do a feature about that, and will also come over to the shop and have a BARS session and do a bigger spread on that in a few weeks !! So far so marvellous !  And breathe !...
Anyhow fingers crossed I shall continue just the way I am and can reinstate my business. For now I am just grateful to be where I am and shall make sure I enjoy it. Bugger just burnt dinner - gotta go !

Nailed it

What horrible weather, doesnt look like we will be having much of a summer this year. I am sitting in my shed and its thundering and lightening all around. Quite spectacular.
 I am the proud owner of some lovely long purple nails. You might think whats so unsual about that. Well it wasnt so long ago that my nails were black and falling out. Oh its so good to be normal again. Watched an interview with Tricia- the chat show host earlier today. She had breast cancer a little while ago. She has been given a contract in America and she was saying she still lives in fear of 'it' coming back. She said that she is even more concerned since she got the American deal, as it like- everythings so good, something ' bad' has got to happen. I so know how she feels. My treatment room is coming on and will be ready end of next week, so I will be back in business at last. Ive had such a wonderful 6 months, with much more to come. But I do feel like Tricia, at times. Cant help it,' Its' always there. Like a bad smell that you cant locate. Nothing you can do but recognise the fear, accept it and carry on. Its just part and parcel of the whole deal.
On a lighter note I am off to Stoke on Trent tomorrow to meet up with Karen and Emma to do a Access Bars course ( my lastest therapy). We will have a brilliant time I know. It will be so good to catch up and share our thoughts regarding our Bali experience. I know my feelings have changed a lot over the few weeks we have been back so I cant wait to hear whats happened to them. And it will be great to learn something new I always enjoy that.......

Bali - Melukat

I really was nervous. Having watched everyone else go through their first Melakut ceremony, only Karen and I were left. It was my turn next. I had just a few minutes earlier received my diagnosis. During it I was told that in a previous life I had been a Gladiator that I had received mortal wounds but had survived. He had asked to look at my back, where he confirmed he could see the scars from these old wounds carried forward into this life.  In fact not only did I survive but I was able to return to the ring and continue, ruthless and unbeatable. In this present life he had told me that I had a mind full of ideas, which constantly distracted me from my course, which I had to agree with.  Slightly alarmingly he could also feel the detritus of the cancer in my right ring finger.  He told me that my upper Chakra’s had closed, which didn’t surprise me in the least, in fact I was aware that they had shut down during the course of Chemotherapy I had endured only months before.  It made sense to me that only my two lower Chakra’s were fully open as they represent survival and grounding, the only things I had really concentrated on. He told me he would remove the busy-ness of my mind and remove any remains of the cancer and reopen my closed Chakra’s during the various Melukat’s we would be having over the next two weeks.  I was hooked, this was after all what I had come to Bali for. 

And now it was my turn, with a quick last glance at Karen who had to endure one further session watching mine, I walked over to my Melukat.  This Melukat was a large terracotta urn full of water and the most beautiful flowers of Bali. We each had our own individual prescription and as I was a ‘nine’ that was the number of different flower combinations in my urn. The Ceremony started by my holding a combination of flowers and a lighted josh stick in the ends of my fingers. My hands where held above my head in a prayer position and I was given a moment in which to pray. My prayer was obvious, as would be all the prayers and affirmations that followed. Simply, to be healthy.  Then as I handed the Josh stick over to his wife who was assisting, I was instructed to lay my hands palms up, in the position of acceptance. He said a prayer, blessed the Melukat and placed crystals inside. Then it started. Prior to the session we had been advised by one of the other girls who had been here before to time our breathing. To breathe in when he filled the huge ladle and to breathe out through the mouth as the water flowed over our heads.  Seemed like a good plan. However when the first ladle hit I was suddenly thrust into a blind panic. It’s a totally sensory experience. Firstly of the fragrantly laced cold water and then suddenly a deprivation of sight, oxygen and body heat as he continuously ladle’s the water over your head, chanting all the time.  I was completely on my own, isolated from the world, deprived of breath, aware only of the water endlessly pouring and the flowers falling into my lap.  Then from somewhere deep inside me a sound started to rise up. I wanted to stop it but I could not as this powerful sound came from my soul, primal, mystical, and animal.  A long deep guttural wail I was unable to control, it was part of me but an old part, not of this lifetime.  Centuries of old hurt, pain and suffering.  Rushing up from the depths, coming up to the surface, to freedom and release.  The water poured on and the wail, as loud as ever continued.  I have no idea how my body took in Oxygen, I was only aware of the power of the release and the sound.

 And then it was over and sobs racked my body, just a couple, which I think were my own. Shock and acceptance of what had just left me. He held my head very gently and blew into my crown Chakra and gave me a blessing.   I sat there while his wife poured the contents of a golden coconut over my head and a blessing of rice was placed on my forehead and shoulders, and I was given the opportunity to pray some more. I thanked the Universe for what had just taken place, although it would be some time before I was able to fully process in any depth the magnitude of it, I knew that it was all for the good. My body felt so light, my hands where tingling, all my nerve endings felt alive, invigorated.  I rested there, with the heat of the Bali sun warming and drying my body and felt truly reconnected and at peace.

Trance Dancing in Bali

She was the embodiment of Kuan Yin. Dancing majestically amongst us, and we like clumsy hand maidens, were dancing to music that was alien yet strangely familiar. As we danced eyes closed minds empty, she moved amongst us, blowing Universal energy straight from the Cosmo’s into us. Each exhalation taking us deeper into the altered state. On we danced feeling  freer and lighter with every movement.  I began to feel that I was on the bottom of the Ocean, like an Anemone my arms had become frilly tentacles ebbing and flowing with the waves. Then I smelt the familiar scent all around me and part of me realised she was close by.  Her hand caught mine and our fingers entwined, and we were together as one floating through space and time. Ancient, yet young.  Weightless and free.  Eternal.  Her energy body  white  and filling the room, mingling with mine, my own expanding outwards to meet hers.  Our earthly bodies’ just vehicles for our souls, in this dance, fully present in the now.

 Then she was gone, moved by spirit to someone else. And I was back in the Ocean. Ebbing and flowing. Aware of  the others movements around me.  Belonging in the moment, feeling the love. 

And now again the familiar scent and she was back, this time behind me blowing into the back of my head and stroking her hand down my spine.  My body felt liquid as though it was really only a column of water supported by the energy flowing around me. Then she moved in front of me and her hand brushed over what was left of my right breast, very gently and subtly, hardly touching me at all. I felt loved by something so much bigger than me or her. I felt the compassion of the universe flow from her hands into my body. I felt so free and happy, like a small child dancing with her mother. I knew I had a huge smile on my face and with renewed energy I continued my dance with my small group of friends. We had gathered here through some strange compulsion that led each of us to say yes to my friend’s invitation to join her on her return to Bali to meet this woman along with other healers and to join in with their ritual ceremonies.  We had no idea of what to expect and I certainly went with an open mind, grateful that I had survived the radical medical treatments I had undergone just a few months earlier. And now at last, here we were each of us in our own Trance Dance each weaving energy , our own and one another’s, creating a massive whirlpool of energy so tangible that you could almost see it through your closed eyes.   It all felt so natural, so normal, no one feeling embarrassed or awkward. Just trusting and allowing our bodies to move with the music and freeing our spirits to embrace what was unfolding.  We had entered’ Niskala’, the inner unseen energy underlying the pageant and ceremony in Balinese Hinduism.  We were separate yet one, powerful, yet compassionate, huge yet tiny.  We truly were light workers and sky walker’s.