Be Grateful

Ok so heres something I do every morning when I wake up ( sometimes its a 4am ritual) I go through all the things I am grateful for. I start with Thank you for the wonderful day I had yesterday and Thank you for today.  Then I go through my list of all the other things I am grateful for. This is a real experience of positivity as I will also be grateful for any thing that hasnt gone quite right, on the basis that something unpleasant may be helpful in the future. Maybe that was meant to teach me something, how do I know at this point.  It may even be that an awful experience can trigger events that will turn into an advantage. So I am grateful. And I mean it. I am grateful for my cancer experience, boy has that taught me a lot. Without that experience I doubt I would have done all the travelling that I have this year. I certainly would not be in the place I am now.  So I am grateful for my life, I am grateful for my friends, I am grateful for the haven that is my shed, I am grateful for my continued good health, and so on.   The act of gratefulness creates positivity in the mind, it reminds you of all the things you have. This raises your internal vibration and you feel lighter.  Sometimes in our busy lives we forget all the good things we already have and instead we concentrate on the negativity of what we dont have.  Feelings of loss and want. The Universe hears this and under the law of attraction will send back what it thinks you are ordering. You think negativity and you get it back. Negativity is heavy.  Why do you think we say to each other lighten up ? How you do you feel right now? Take a minute, are you heavy or light?

Me, Im buzzing. I am off to Glastonbury for a few days. I love Glastonbury.  A lot of people think that Glastonbury is all about the music festival. But its much more than that. It is the centre of healing and new age thinking in the UK, other than maybe Totnes in Devon. It is a small town full of independent shops, most of them selling Crystals, Clothes, New Age books, CD's, vegetarian food etc. It has a lovely easy going laid back atmosphere. And magical places to sit and meditate such as the Chalice Well gardens, or the top of the Tor.  Glastonbury is considered the Heart Chakra of the world as it sits on two major ley lines, They are the St Micheal and  Mary lines. So called because in direct alighnment  are 10 churches dedicated to St Micheal and 23 churches dedicated to St Mary in a 300 mile line stretching across England. Other Chakra centers are Mount Kalaish ( Crown) and Bali ( Third Eye).  Amazing isnt it?  All that energy centered into a small sleepy town. Anyhow shall let you know how we got on, yet another small adventure.

Lymphodema Nurse

Thought I should tell you about my visit to the Lymphodema Nurse last week. In case you wonder what one of those is, she is qualified in Lymphatic drainage. As I have had my Lymph nodes removed in my right arm I am at risk of developing Lymphodema as fluid can collect in my hand and arm, if it gets really bad I will have to wear a compression arm covering, and if it gets really bad my arm can expand to huge proportions. If this happens it will never return to the same size. So I do realise its a potentially serious thing. I rang and made an appointment because fluid does collect in my hand just below my ring and little finger, and being responsible I know its best to get help before it gets worse. My appointment went like this;
Nurse; Hope you are not going to sit on that bed with your legs crossed !
Me; I uncrossed my legs.
Nurse; I hope thats not a suntan.
Me; Decided not to tell her about my shop said, yes Ive been on holiday.
Nurse; And who said you could do that
Me; Jenny Smith , my consultant said it would be OK. My Oncologist said go off and enjoy yourself.
I couldnt bring myself to tell her just how many ' holidays ' I have been on this year.
Nurse; Whats that on your nails.
Me; Its Gel and its ok, the girl knows not to push back my cuticles.
Nurse;  And what type of massage are you doing.
Me; Deep tissue and Hot stones.
Nurse; Whats Hot Stones
Me; You know stones get heated up in a thing like a slow cooker and I hold them in my palms and massage.
Nurse; Dont do that ever again
Me; Dont say anything but thinks - yea right !!
Nurse; And what about hot baths?
Me; Well I like a soak on a Saturday night ( with a cold glass of Cava, listening to Bottcelli)
Nurse; Not hot water though.
Me; thinking; Bloody hell- whats left. What can I do.?
Nurse; Are you doing your exercises
Me; oh yes ( when I remember)
Nurse; Starting to gently massage my arm and hand says, You see youve got to remember you are damaged now. You will never be the same.
Me; thinking; Ive always been damaged, nothings changed. Oh I see she means my arm, oh damaged thats an interesting concept. Here was me thinking I'd got rid of stinking Cancer that was intent on killing me, didnt realise I was damaged, I thought I was 'cured'. Silly me. So I say -damaged?
Nurse; oh yes you will never be the same ( yes thats true, but no need to remind me), you have been damaged beyond repair. You have to look after yourself.
Me; thinking; Silly old me, I thought I was looking after myself. Says - Ah well I'm only doing a few clients and I only do one massage a day. And I only work 4 days a week and thats only if I have clients. And only a third of them have massage. So I dont do much.
Nurse; Good because you are damaged, dont forget. And what about your mind, how do you feel if you feel unwell.
Me; Well its a mind fuck, I immediately think its come back. Then I take a deep breath and talk to myself. I realise its part and parcel of living on planet C.
Nurse; Well it will always be that way Im affraid. Now lets see how you get on. If it gets worse we shall have to get a ' garment' to put on it when you are not working to help with drainage. ( She means a compression thingey that covers my arm completely).
Massage over, I gave my thanks and left. I went in happy with my lot, feeling good about myself, having a nice day. I left with' Damaged' ringing through my head. Now I'm strong and positive, and totally prepared to take the mickey out of myself. But what if I was the opposite? What if I wasnt in a good place. Now I'm not knocking her knowledge or her advice, in fact Im glad she's there.  Its the delivery that could do with a little tweaking me thinks. Anyhow got into my car,  turned up my radio and smiled. Damaged! Thats just her Fucking opinion.
 

Wet wet wet

Our day off and its pouring- has been all day. So we are in the shed trying to sort out and book our hotels for Thailand. I must admit I am feeling pretty excited. We have decided to spend 4 nights in Bangkok so we can visit the Temples and shop, then fly to Chiang Mai for 5 days in the North just to sight see and experience the North Thai food and culture. Then get a taxi from Bangkok to Koh Samui for 11 days to experience the beach. Then back to Bangkok for a final couple of nights before we fly home. The best bit is that I can do all my Christmas shopping there. So be warned friends, I guess you will all be getting a Buddha for Christmas! 
In the meantime we are preparing for a busy week in the shop before we head down to Glastonbury for a couple of days and meet up with Emma at Lyme Regis where we can hunt for fossils and catch up. Then we have a couple of days at home before we head out to Spain for 10 days so that I can attend the physical meduimship course, complete with seances. Cant wait for that either !! Oh and somewhere in amongst that I have a check up with the Oncologist. Phew.
Its great being back doing my therapies, really enjoying doing the Bars and getting good feedback. I also had a Reiki session with one of my old customers who is elderly. She loved it and floated out of the shop after saying that she got a really strong scent of flowers from somewhere. I think that as I was thinking of Bali she got the smell of the Melukat flowers as she said she had no idea what the flowers could be. Isnt it great when two people can link up psychically. Such a great experience I had forgotten how lovely it can be. I would add though that my Reiki energy feels much stronger, I think my experiences in Bali ramped that up. Have also been contacted by a lady who wants to become a Reiki Master - no idea when I can fit that in, although I have tentively suggested October.  My most popular therapy is massage, typical when thats the one I really want to break away from. I just have to get it across to people that energy work is as good if not better than massage.........


 

Happy Bank Holiday

Well this is it ! The last of the bank holidays for the year and as usual the weather could have been better.  Not so much happening over the last few days, except I have been dreaming of Bali - still.
The next trip has been drawn up and circulated for April 2013. I guess I shall be there.
In the meantime we have decided not to go to Goa as the Universe kept putting obstacles in the way. So we have now decided to go to Thailand, and its a definate as the flights have been booked. We are going for three weeks and shall be exploring the temples of Bangkok followed by a trip up north to Chiang Mai, then down to a beach to rest and sunbathe. So hopefully we shall both be pleased. Me with the temples, Dennis with lazing on the beach.
It shall be a wonderful way to round off my year of living, I have seen and learnt so much this year. So much that I had never thought I would experience. It truly has been a great year. My only concern is how I can improve on it in the years to come. It really will pose a problem for me. In fact I'm not really sure how I will manage to settle down again.  But I will let the Universe decide that, I shall just go with the flow.......
 

Summer bug

After having a wonderful time in Whitby  last week we have sucumbed to a horrible bug. Mine started on Saturday with a bit of a sore throat that got worse and ended up with me in bed by 5pm. Since then Ive had a real runny nose and now a cough. Dennis has got it as well so we have spent the whole day in the shed feeling sorry for ourselves. Its the first time Ive been really unwell since Chemo and as usual developing a temperature on Saturday night threw me into a bit of a panic. However I am over it now, although I am feeling weak still. At least I know its a ' normal' bug and nothing to worry about. But you see thats the point now, any little thing sends me into a reeling panic. But accepting that will happen helps me to deal with it. I just have to get on with it and get over it.

Looks like we are definately going to Spain in August so I can attend the Physical mediumship course. We have found a nice apartment on a golf complex so will be self catering for a change, which will be good. If apparently has its own Jacuzzi- oh I can see me now- Cava in hand lying in the Jacuzzi after a hard day at the seminar. Dennis feeding me Olives. Brilliant. Still have to firm up Goa in November, which we still intend to do, just felt too ill to arrange ( shows you how poorly we felt).

Have a few treatments this week, but thankful its been quite quiet as I would not have been able to do them. Funny how something so simple can knock you for six isnt it?

Weird Whitby

Ok so all we wanted was a nice couple of days in Whitby, to walk along the beach that started it all. The place where I got my inspiration to start my journey for real. As part of our 'ritual' we always have chips for lunch by the Sea wall. As I lent against the fence overlooking the harbour I was suddenly aware of huge wings coming at me and surrounding me. My chips were bounced in my hands and as I let out a suprised wail it was all over. And no it was not a visit from an Angelic presence but a huge Seagull that had decided to mug me for my lunch. A very kind man had seen it all happen and came over to ask me if I was Ok, which of course I was, just a little startled.
Then we walked over to the Pier. The Pier in Whitby is quite a long twisty one.  As we walked along I think I must have disapeared into ' the void' as the next thing I knew was that I was standing at the very end looking out to sea. I was crying and I remember feeling homesick. By then Dennis had caught up with me and said I had just speeded up and walked in a real straight line to the end, he hadnt tried to keep up as he wanted to see what happened. He didnt know what to say and neither did I as the tears were not mine. I was not the one feeling homesick and within a minute that feeling had completely vanished and we just stood and laughed.  Dennis did mention that at first he was afraid that I would not stop but just simply dive nto the sea. As for me -one minute I was at the beginning of the Pier and the next I was in tears at the end. Weird Weird Weird.  What is happening. And my eyes were lit up again, according to Dennis. But I must say that I am now able to know this for myself as my vision becomes much sharper, I can actually feel when it happens. It happened again after I had bought my little Balinese statue, a temple guardian, that I found in a shop in Whitby. When we got back into our hotel room I was aware that everything looked brighter. When I looked into the mirror something else was looking back at me. I mean I know it was me. But my eyes really did look as though I had those luminous eye contacts in.  Anyhow on a more normal note we had a really good couple of days, we walked along the beach each day to Sandsend and back, which is quite a way. The weather was perfect for once. And I really enjoyed paddling in the sea, something that is a recent discovery for me, since Bali I guess, which I think is were all this Weirdness started. And I got my little Balinese Temple Guardian- how Weird is that ??

More weird stuff

Weird stuff keeps happening. Looking through a magazine at the weekend I saw a house which looked just like the big house I saw in my past life regression. And when Dennis checked it was built in the 16th century so would tie in with the time and it was in Hertfordshire so the area would be about right. It felt really strange because I really felt I recognised it. It might not be THE house, but it was really similar which once again makes me feel that my regression really was that. Could it really be true that I was alive in 1566 ? 
Had another strange event the other evening.  We went to see Simon Goodfellow at the local theatre and afterwards I felt totally manic and buzzing with energy. And I totally freaked Dennis out because he said my eyes were vivid blue. When I looked in the mirror I saw these Turquoise orbs glaring back at me, and I felt as though I was lit up from the inside.!  And again today the same thing happened after I had been watching some Bali trance dancing on Utube and had been playing with my pendulum. Dennis the skeptic is so facinated he keeps telling people.  And after it happens I feel really nervious and sensitive and I really have to concentrate on grounding myself. I'm worried poeple will think we are losing it. But really I find that I just want to sit and stare into space and am content to just 'be'. Which isnt me at all. I know we were warned that events would continue to unfold once we had left Bali but I had no idea this kind of thing would be happening. I just wish I could make some sense of it. But I can only hope that all will be revealed in due course. Its just all really unsettling in one way and yet strangely calming in another. Now I know that doesnt make sense !!