Thank you Universe

Well the Universe works in mysterious ways !! Having been told that my reconstruction would be done in March, I got a letter informing me it would be the 5th February. What a shock , so soon ! However was a little concerned as the 5th Feb is the aniversary of my Mothers death, but not wanting to say no I accepted it, feeling uneasy. Imagine then my surprise when last week in the middle of decorating I got a phone call asking if I could bring the Op forward to the 29th January - this Tuesday !  Thank you Universe for re-arranging, although it really now is a rush to get stuff organised and done ! I had my pre Op assesment on Friday, everything was Ok until it became time to remove blood.  They gave up after 1 attempt, saying the they will get it when I am unconcious ! That is if they can get the blinking canula in to knock me out in the first place.  Honestly this thing about my veins is beginning to drive me crazy. They said it would but itself right after a couple of years, but cant see any improvement myself yet.
The nurse gave me instructions, apparently I will have my own cubicle which will be much nicer for me. The Op will take anything upto 7 hours. I will have 3 drains and a catherter when I wake up. I shall be in a bit of pain and shall be monitored every 30 minutes to ensure the new boob is alive and well. I will have oxygen up my nose and the room will be a constant 26 degrees !! This apparently is to ensure the implant has every chance of survival, the warmer and more oxygenated everything is apparently the better. Hah they dont know about me and my hot blood,  I shall be sweating cobs !
I will have disovable stitches in my boob and stomach but proper ones holding my bellybutton in its new location- ouch !  She said that the first day I will be wishing I had never had it done, but the second day I shall feel much better. So shall report as soon as I can on whether she was right!
I can be in hospital between 3 and 5 days depending on how I recover.
So thats it! Am I nervious? Yes very. Its one thing going to get a nasty Cancer cut out of your body, but its a different thing deciding to get something done that is not life threatening. So yes I am bricking it. However it does seem that the Universe is hurrying this all through and I can only assume its because it wants me to be up for Bali. So once again I am throwing myself on its mercy and going with the flow. Today I have been loading all my spritual music onto my ipod so that I can listen to Om Mandi Padme Om and Ani Choylin Drolma if I feel in need of spirital support. I plan to visualise doing Kora around the Stupa at Boudha as they put me under. I did that last time and it seemed to work well at keeping me calm and open, so fingers crossed. So thats it ! A busy day tomorrow, I have to have a mammogram on the other one, which is my annual one brought forward because of the Op. I wont be able to blog in hospital, but will of course update you all as soon as I am home.
 

Reconstruction

Ok so today I went to Castle Hill in Hull to discuss other option with regard to reconstruction. Met a really nice Doctor - Mr Akali who says he doesnt like temporary implacts as they do move upwards- like mind has and cause discomfort. He recommends full reconstruction with the Mastectomy - job done! So wish I had spoken to him before I had the initial Op. It just goes to show that they each have their own opinion.
Anyhow no regrets that part has been done. Moving on it has been decided that I will go for a Diep flap and the operation will be performed in Hull. Diep flap means that the skin for the reconstruction will come from my stomach ( so I in effect get a tummy tuck). The alternative choice was to take muscle from my back, this is a quicker op with less chance of failure, but as its muscle rather than fat it can develop a twitch ( I know someone with that and its not nice)  and as I intend to keep all my muscles in place and use fat - which is more disposable- I have decided on the less easy option, typical. When they asked when I wanted it I said ASAP as Im going to Bali in June. As recovery time is 10-12 weeks the earliest they can do is March. That will be just about OK, although I told them I am available any time and can go at the drop of the hat if they get a cancellation !! LOL. So now have to wait a couple of weeks to get the actual date. I had to also acknowledge that ladies with cancer and opting for immediate reconstruction would take precedence and therefore it is possible that the Op could be postponed at the last minute. But they would do their best to get me in as soon as they could and its usually within a week, which is fair enough. And so based on the information I have decided to go ahead and book Bali. If I get postponed too much I would have to postpone the Op until I get back- which I really dont want to happen and have done my best to persuade them I need it doing before. Of course I couldnt tell them that I need it before as Bali is the place I go to for healing and leaving crap behind me, they might think me strange, but I have decided to go back to Bali and left it to the Universe to sort out the dates. Thank God I have made a descision !! It has been driving me nuts for weeks!!

Decisions

Thought it was about time I updated my blog. A few things has happened. I have the opportunity to return to Bali in June. However that has been put on hold until I get to Hull on Wednesday to see a plastic surgeon regarding my reconstruction. I have already been back to see Jenny Smith about the Op but on talking it over it appears that her type of Op can lead to hernia and as I still want to be able to massage the other type done by Hull seems to be the better option. That together with the fact that Jenny couldnt do the Op till March- she seems to think I would get it quicker with the Hull option.
As usual because I have decided to get it done, I expect it to be done ASAP. This shall come as no suprise to any of you I know.  So shall wait and see what this guy says. You may wonder why I have decided to get it done, well really its simply that I want a tummy tuck !! HAahah had you all going there ! Seriously its because the temporary implant has gone really hard and has moved upwards !! Yes it has defied gravity, same the other one hasnt. As well as that I am getting really bad cramp like pains in my right arm if I extend it backwards and outwards. I am seeing a physiotherapist tomorrow for this but again Jenny thinks it might be improved by getting rid of the implant. So really the time has come. It has served me well through all my travels, but shall be glad now to get rid of it.
So Bali has been put on hold until I get some idea of the Op date. In my head I had decided that I should have the Op and then go back to Bali to receive healing. To be fixed like I was last time. And to once again leave the ordeal on Bali. As one of my spiritual advisors said ' Bali seems to be the place that you go to for healing and to leave all the bad stuff, like an emotional dumping ground'. And he's right, thats what I want. To have the Op and then go to Bali to recover and leave the bad stuff behind. So I'm sending this out to the Universe, Op first then Bali in June please !
Had a good couple of days in Newcastle doing the last part of the Meduimship course with Simon Goodfellow. As usual met some nutty and some nice people and suprised myself at my Psyhic prowess. Simon is allowing his students to do platform work at his 'evenings' and offered me the chance to do this at his Immingham do in a couple of weeks.  I dont have the confidence to do that so have said  I will think about it.
Have also decided to adapt my blog into some kind of book. Has taken me a while to be able to revisit it without getting tearful. But feel the time is now right. So watch this space......

Planning

So its 2013, we have been having a few lazy days which has been great. You know we all need some 'down time' proper time when we can be quiet and just be.  Oh its easy to find jobs around the house- we have loads- but sometimes its good to get back in touch with the person inside you, with your higher self, thats the part of you that needs to be fulfilled and happy and listened to. Be warned, ignoring that strong clear voice is not good for your health !
I have also been catching up on some reading but also meditating and reflecting on what I am going to do next and listening to that voice. Some of it is out of my hands at the moment as I have decided to have a reconstruction and am waiting another appointment with a different Doctor to sort out when and where.  The date will also have an impact as it looks pretty certain that I shall be returning to Bali in June. This probably means that I wont have a reconstruction before I go as I will need time to recover. So even though I had 'decided' I would have it early this year events have overtaken me and Bali must come first. The Universe has spoken!
As for the rest of my year that again will depend on my Op but we have already been discussing plans, so at least once we know timescales we can plan around them.
As for myself I remain in a good place, in fact its been really nice to spend some time in my home for a change. We have had a great Christmas and New Year. I am looking forward to returning back to work for a bit, although next week I am in Newcastle completing my Masters of Mediumship with Simon Goodfellow, which will be fun. I really would like to get to grips with my Meditation  and Reiki teaching so will be pushing that a bit more.  I am also working on a book, it is coming along very slowly, but nonetheless I am going to complete it. So you see I have quite a lot of stuff going on in the next year, so bring it on!