Monday, 25 March 2013


Crikey time is moving on, its been ages since my last post. In that time we have booked a week in Gran Canaria and I have been back to see the consultant that did my reconstruction. He  said I can have as much work done on my reconstruction as I want. I have decided I dont want a fake nipple- why would you ? And will instead have a tittoo, however there is a ridge of skin that is a bit proud and he can work on that which I think would be better. We also discussed lifting the other one. Now I would not bother with this other than the practicalities. Having one much lower than the other makes bra wearing quite uncomfortable. My main concern about all this is that I am not looking forward to another stay in hospitable and another aneasthetic. However he said this work would be done as a day patient and that if I really did not want aneasthetic he could do the surgery using local only. This brings other issues as I would be fully aware of what was going on and he could not guarantee that I would not feel anything, there may be some sensation. Gosh ! What do I do? We have decided this op would be carried out in July so as not to interfer with my Bali plans. I have an appointment with him in May and by then I should have decided what I want done. So more operations !!
In the meantime I am restarting my therapies next week and hoping to be able to restart my life. Of course the old mind fuck thing clicks in ( what if it comes back) but I hear that everytime I arrange something. I have to just shut that out of my mind and get on with it. What other choice do we have? When you live on planet C this is a regular occurance. I am not the only one. There are milllions of us, all living on this planet, with our insecurities to keep us company. Its quite a lonely planet but we get used to it.  However we make the most of it as usual and carry on

Sunday, 10 March 2013

Has much is that doggy........

What an interesting week. I am halfway through looking after Kieran's dog whilst he and Graham are on a cruise. And what a lot this little dog has taught me. For months, actually more like 3 years,  I have been saying I want a dog. Not any more !! Not Bell'es fault as she is a gentle cutie, but she brings out the worst in me. Like I cant bear the fact that my lovely cream floor in my kitchen is dirty all the time. Its bringing on OCD !! I can bear the ' doggy' smell that she exudes and the doggy farts that hang permantly in the atmosphere. I am burning incense constantly to try and mask the noxious fumes that make me gag ! So bless her she has done me a huge favour and taught me a very valuable lesson. Having said that I love taking her for walks and we had a really good time at the beach. So what I really need is to find an older person with a dog that they can no longer walk. I could walk it for them and we would all benefit. So thank you Belle and I know you are looking forward to your daddy coming home next week, we will part as good friends and both probably wiser for the experience!! I am a confirmed cat person and it appears I always will be.
Went to see the consultant that did my reconstruction this week. We have agreed to meet again in May when I can confirm if I want a nipple and a brown tattoo, an uplift on the left side to match  my pert reconstruction and a bit of a touch up on my new breast. I have tentativly agreed on an uplift as its a rreal juggling act to get my left side as high as my right. And as I have to shorted the bra strap to achieve this it cuts ointo my shoulder so not the best in comfort. I have agreed to this only if he can operate on me without going through aneasthesia as I can face another mash up like the last time. So he said he could give me a local aneasthetic but I have to accept I may feel some pain and of course will be fully aware of the procedure which will be messy. To me this is preferable to the alternative. He did admit he has never performed this with the patient still present but he was game for it if I was. If we do decide on this I will have the Op in July when I return from Bali. It will take about 1 1/2 hours and  I can come home on the day, so no overnight stay. So it looks as though I will go for this but wont bother with any more surgery. I shall look for a suitable Tittoo design in Bali and have a Tittoo rather than a false nipple and tattoo. Much more me !