Marrekesh express

Ok so here we are - its nearly Diamond Jubilee weekend. Queen Elizabeth has been on the throne for sixty years. What an achievement whichever way you look at it! Am trying to get everything together in readiness for our holiday to Morocco next week. 10 days in the sun. Am really looking forward to it. It will also enable me to lie back and relax ( not that I havnt been doing that)  But this should give me much more time to lie and dream and plan.  It will be good for Dennis too as he needs a rest after taking care of everything in my absence.
I have been researching more about Balinese culture and healing, which has been very interesting and thought provoking.  I haved stopped dreaming of Bali, at least for the past two nights. So maybe it is out of my system. Although I am not sure I want it to be. Time will tell.
I am feeling good, which is heartening. I was speaking to a girl yesterday whos mother had a lumpectomy followed by radiation, and she has had a terrible time. She suffered infection from the Op, then really bad burns from the Radiotherapy. And now her boob has swelled due to fluid build up which they are trying to drain.
My experience sounds like a walk in the park compared to hers..........

Back in the Now

Being back home has proved more difficult than I thought. Although I am happy to be home, I just cant seem to be bothered to get anything done. I need to be alone and left simply with my thoughts, and I seem to be content to be this way for hours. I was also dreaming about Bali every night for the first week, stupid stunted dreams that I usually forgot most of when I woke up. Then one night this week I dreamt that on the way home from Bali I got left behide ( just outside a small town in Norfolk !) somehow I got into this old building and couldnt find my way out. My mobile phone didnt work so I couldnt phone anyone. Eventually I got out the building and was able to phone Dennis to tell him where I was !! Since that dream I have felt a little more here in the now. It was as it a little part of me did get left behind and has just caught up with me, through that dream. I know, it sounds bizarre, but that is how I feel.
The other thing is people keep commenting on my eyes, they say they have changed colour to a much deeper blue. In fact one of the ladies I met on the holiday asked me if I was wearing coloured contacts, as did Sue when she saw me the other night!  All I know is I am as blind as a bat, cant read a thing now without my glasses. But I can see what they mean, I dont spend a lot of time looking at my eyes, but since so many have commented I have been looking. And they do seem bluer, in fact there is a darker blue ring around my Iris that I dont think was there before. Cant explain that one.
As for my feelings about the trip. I still cant fully quantify anything. All I know is something in me is changing and has changed. I still feel the pull of the lady healer and her ancestors. I told Emma that I didnt think I would go back next year as I didnt think I would feel the need. However some of that is changing. Now I'm not so sure that I could say no, knowing all the others are going back. Its like theres some unfinished business. Well I will throw that one out to the Universe, and let it decide .....

Back home

Well thats it !! I am back in blighty. I feel so different. Dennis says he sees a change ( for the better). How? In what way? Thats hard to explain. This is not the feeling I had when I returned from Nepal. But my soul is singing. Life is sweet. I have such a renewed spiritual energy. I feel so connected with everything. I feel strong, empowered. What will unfold I have no idea, and I dont care.  It really is too early for me to go into detail about my own personal experiences and feelings about what happened, but I will write about them once I feel I am ready.
On our last evening at the beach we had a small ceremony. I had taken my little Nepalese hat and my favourite scarf. Before dinner we took them down to the beach with an  offering of flowers that I had collected. Once there and only a few feet from the sea we burned them. It was so good. Dharma and Samphos ( the two sweetest men I have ever met) helped me to set fire to them and as they burned, Samphos who was a buddhist monk for 12 years knelt down and offered the flowers into the fire. It was so moving that these guys who had only known me for a short while could understand the significance of the ceremony and add their special touch. As they burned we all pushed the smoke up and away into the sea. I said goodbye to the big 'C' . I felt very emotional, surrounded and supported by all these special people who I had shared so much with, feeling their love and energy as they wished the same for me.  I just felt a little sorry that Dennis and my friends back home could not be there with me. But I guess this was my journey and my time. It was so completely the right time and place to have this ceremony  I felt liberated and free. By the morning the Jave sea had completely swallowed any remnants, just the way it should be.

On our last day Emma was summoned by the lady healer that we had spent so much time with. She was given advice on how to channel spirit  amongst a whole lot of other things that really are Emma's to tell.  She was gifted the bamboo walking cane that Ratunia has used for the last 30 years- a very precious item, that we were so protective of on the flight home.  She was also told how the 3 of us share some connection and that we will be all back together some day. I really do hope that does happen.

day 13

So nice to have a restful day at last. However how typical is it that the weather turned mid afternoon. So sunbathing was cut short. It was still really hot although it started to rain a little bit. So we decided this would be a good time to do a tarot card reading. We all had a good laugh over them whilst lounging on the day beds in our upstairs area. Then it was time for our 4th Melakat with the male healer. This one was exactly like the first one we had ( when I wailed) I got pretty nervious waiting my turn. However when it came I have to say I thoroughly enjoyed it. No wailing, in fact though almost drowning I found myself smiling throughout, in a weird cheesy kind of way. But before he started it he put his index finger straight into my right breast and Ken told me he had said that the pathology of that area was clear. Which was good to hear.

We had a two hour break and then we went into the hotels Ashram where he was waiting for us. The final ceremony of the trip was for him to channel the Naga energy. Naga's are guardians of the earth and live deep within it. They are known for there abililty to remove ' that which no longer serves 'from the body. This small gentle quiet man turned very quickly into an incense bundle eating, manic, monstrous, frightening spirit. As he was stomping round and looking at all of us, he gaze turned directly to me, his bloodshot eyes looked right through me. Suddenly he ran straight at me. He knocked me off my feet as Dharma, Ken and Samphos all rushed to catch me. Then as they put me on the floor, he jumped on top of me and started to bite my right breast. It was painful and so frightening. But we had been prepared for this before hand and I remembered not to fight him but to surrender and allow the Naga to feed on the stuff that no longer served me. He ate all over my right breast and up into my collarbone and neck. When he at last finished my blouse was all undone and covered in black ash from the josh sticks, as was my bra. I got back to my feet, glad that it was all over, and he ran around the room, looking at the others. Then suddenly he rushed at me again knocking me to the floor. This time he bit my right breast then went over to my left side, beneath my left breast. To the area that the other lady healer focussed on a few nights ago. Again he bit at that area, as I tried really hard not to resist but to allow the Naga to do his work. Then he was finished with me. I was able to watch as one by one he picked on the other girls. Mainly biting them in the stomach area, but sometimes also going into the back. I was so thankful he choose me first, because I dont think I would have been able to stand and witness what was happening, knowing it would be my turn soon. It was really dramatic, frightening and inspiring to watch the Naga at work.

We had dinner together and an in- depth long conversation on judgement and Karma. I find it interesting how most poeple judge themselves and then believe that is how other people see them. They put themselves into a cage and fool themselves that other poeple's judgements have put them there. I would call that ' being anal' Or more bluntly, sticking their heads up their own bums. Mostly they just like being a victim and blaming other people.

Ah well thats it. Our journey has almost ended. It certainly is the end of all our experiences. Tomorrow I am having a day on the beach and beside the pool. I have booked in for a facial and pedicure at the hotel spa. Then on Tuesday back to Ubud for a final day before our flight back home. I have not written in depth about my spiritual experiences as I have preferred to wait until the entire trip had completed. All I can say at this point is that it has been completely challenging, but I would not have missed it for the world....

day 12

After a couple of hours driving over the volcano we arrived at the beach hotel. Emma and I definately have the best rooms. We are self contained, and share a front door and entrance hall. I have a huge bed and an outdoor bathroom. I have a downstairs verandah with settee and chairs and Emma and I can share the top floor which is open and has a four poster huge day bed and a couple of settee's. This is definately my style. Our building is surrounded by a moat filled with goldfish and you have to walk across stepping stones to get to us. Amazing. Today we swam in the Java sea, which is clear and warm. On Sunday we can go out on a boat and snorkel, which I have put my name down for.
This evening the lady healer and a busfull of her followers came over to us. We met them at a local Temple to Qon Yin. Around 5 pm. We said prayers and had the normal ceremony then had a trance dance, this one was very strong for me. Then Ratunia came through and we had the normal channelling information, however this time she really cried and so did some of her community. Then we walked to another temple close by. She held my hand and linked arms all the way. Chatting to me in Balinese. As always she gave me words and I repeated them. It all seems so natural and I love our time together like this. There is another lady who is much older, who also channels, with the longest dreadlock ponytail I have ever seen. She later made a point of coming up to me as we walked to another temple and she held my hand. They do not do this to the rest of the group, I can only summise its because of my eyes, being blue, or because Ratunia likes me to smoke with her, as she believes I was an old freind. But who knows? Anyhow at the second temple there were a lot of monkeys. As we sat down on the floor to begin our prayers they kept running up to us and stealing the prayer flowers. That was scary enough, but halfway through the prayers they suddenly went wild and started screaming at each other and fighting on the fragile reed roof we were all sitting under. To add to the scene there was also sheet lightening firing off all around the temple. ~Fascinating, stunning, wonderful. Wild !
The very last temple was beautiful, the first one we've seen that was painted. There were no monkeys but cats and dogs all wandering around. No - one bothers, they just get on with the ceremonies, it really seems anyone is welcome. More prayers and the usual ceremony, only this one was overseen by a priestess which seemed fitting and right for our last ceremony. Then a last trance dance. The healer spent time which each of us blowing on us and touching us. It was lovely and quite moving. Then it was over and time to say our goodbyes. All the community said thank you and goodbye and gave us banana's ( Phisang' s) We were all very quick in saying goodbye to the healer as we were affraid we might cry, and I think she was too.
Tomorrow we have our last ceremony. This one is a melukat with the male healer. This is the big one ( which I wailed through first time). It will be very interesting to see how I feel about this last one. Especially as all the others had a choice in whether they wanted it or not. But he insisted at the diagnosis that I definately had it. As he put it - it has been prescribed for me

day 11

Such a lovely relaxed day. We had the morning free although we were all feeling the effects of the late night before. Karen and I took off to do some sacred shopping. I got a Ganeshe statue that Ive had my eye on, together with a few more small bits. What was going to be a quick pop out however turned into a bit of a trek as we got a little lost and ended up going miles out of our way. Then we all had lunch together, where Ken explained the plan for today. We were going to the sacred baths to bathe ( its never that simple) then down 200 steps into a nearby temple. I asked if there are 200 down are there 200 up ( might seem a strange question to ask, but nothing here is that simple) when Ken answered yes, I asked if it would be ok to sit at the top and wait for the rest to go and do the stuff ( I really am proud of myself for keeping up with everthing so far, but after the trek this morning and following a late night on top of all the walking, dancing,swimming we have done) I felt enough is enough. Ken said that was completely ok, but did the others want to do it. Seems I wasnt the only one because it was quickly established that no- one really had the energy. So off to the baths we went. These are sacred baths. Hindus from all over make pilgrimage. They consist of large concrete pools with spouts through which the sacred water flows. There were about 9 in the first pool. However there are two which you must not use as they are used in ceremonies for the dead ( no pressure then). The water came upto my waist. A couple of our group thought it was cold ( I didnt) . We had to stick our heads under the spouts and let the water flow over us for as long as we could. Then let it flow onto our Chakra's. Then onto the next. I am happy to report I thoroughly enjoyed it. Thankfully dear Samphos was on hand to help me walk over the stony bottom to the next spout and so on. I should also add that there were Carp in the pool with us- which was a little freaky. There were Balinese in front and behide us all waiting their turn, the ones behide us were quite a party, several generations from an old man to a baby of a few months. Then once we had finished in the first pool we got out and went into the next. The second pool was all about healing and abundance, so I took my time, obviously. Again the whole experience was carthartic. When I had finished I felt thoroughly cleansed and energised.

The wierdest thing was that Hindus consider bare top arms and shoulders, rude. However the changing rooms ( and I use the term loosely) were unisex. All around men and women were trying to get out of their wet Sarongs and shirts and into dry clothes. Never mind about bare shoulders, there were bare bums and more!!. So in the gungho spirit of the moment, and with the challenge of a filthy floor covered in slime consisting of mud and god knows what else. I decided to throw modesty to the wind in an effort to get my dry clothes on without them touching the floor. No mean feat I can tell you. My dry Sarong ended up soaked around the bottom. Despite my decision to go ' commando' for the prayers. So off we went into the inner sanctum where a Hindu priest led us in prayer. Then a quick tour round the rest of the site including feeding the biggest and most Koi Carp I have ever seen.

Then back to Ubud for 4.30 pm. Heaven, we were able to have a little rest then a leisurely shower and change , including time to apply a little make up, and be in a bar in Ubud for happy hour bogoff cocktails. How normal is that ? We indulged in the regular chat and analysis you would expect at this point, fuelled by the bogoff cocktails. Then a good dinner and back to the hotel by 9.30pm - Bliss. Tomorrow we leave for the coast. Emma and Pauline have assured us that the next hotel beats the Retreat and certainly the photos Paula showed us seem to prove that.

Tomorrow will be a late night as the village shall be coming over to join us in one last trance dance. We shall be saying goodbye to our lady healer. That will be very hard for all of us. I have got a pressie for the healer and the two people she has taken under her wing, which we have come to love as they are truly happy simple people, and they have nothing but the healers grace and goodwill on which they depend, they no longer understand the concept of money, just trust in the Universe to provide. Thats a lesson for us all

day 10

What a night. After a mornings shopping and an afternoon swim, we went back to the Ashram for the regular Thursday night trance dance. As we were sitting around waiting for it to begin, the healer came over to me. I was sitting apart from the others as I get to use a stool. When we came over she started speaking to me in Balinese as usual. With a few English words thrown in. Tonight she asked if I was happy. I said yes of course. Then I was aware that she was pinching my right arm. Really small pinches, I couldnt really feel the first one because my arm is still numb right at the back. But as she came down my arm it got more and more painful. Tiny little pinches. I couldnt quite understand what she was doing but she kept smiling at me as she did it, I realised this was some kind of energy work and just went with it. Then the night began. Firstly we had the pleasure of watching three young girls dance the ' golden deer dance'. They were amazing, the facial expressions and the golden coloured costums were exceptional. Then came the dance of the Angels and it was our turn. All the village girls started to twirl and prance around. It became quite intense as everyone started to bump into one another. When the music stopped they all collasped at once onto the floor. It was very dramatic. Then the Hanuman dance- mostly guys, although there were a couple of girls, all start to leap around and make Donald Duck noises, like monkeys. Then the Durga dance where she makes a point of getting Emma onto the floor. Then Ratunia came in. We were all summoned to the front to sit with her. She laughed and joked with Ken and gave more instructions regarding building work around the Ashram. All the while chewing tobacco. Then she asked for a cigarette took a puff, and you guessed it, said I was to have it. All the villagers laughed as I was handed the cigarette. Then she turned to me, put her hand on Kens head and started singing. As she was singing her other hand touched my right breast and then held onto my right arm. Although her eyes were closed she was ' looking' straight at me. I felt nausous, but also elated. Something inside me stirred like an ancient memory. I felt it was just me and her smoking something noxious and heady inside a smoky tent, eons ago. Although I couldnt understand the words, I somehow understood. I felt light and peaceful. Then it was over. Later Ken explained we had all received a very special blessing from Ratunia.

Then prayers and the usual prayer ceremony finishing with Om Shanti Shanti Shanti Om. After a short break the dancing continued. This time she pulled me to the front to join the children and the Golden Deer Dances, in front of the Altar. I have noticed that she recently has made a point of putting me there. Luckily everyone else joined in so no-one noticed the clumsy dancer at the front. The energy was so strong . It felt so fresh, maybe thats why she wanted me there, or maybe my energy added something to the kids, anyhow several of them collasped to the floor, including the Golden Deer. They were all perfectly fine I should add. There is a small group of girls, late teens maybe early twenties who regress back into children. They are so funny to watch as they stomp around pulling faces, crying and playing with one another. Everyone laughs at them. Karen bought whistles last week and the guardian kept blowing one. Everytime he did this it set all the girls off, behaving like angry toddlers, it had everyone in stitches. Such fun. Then it was time for the fishing song, in this one some of the girls turn into mermaids and have to be given water. The rest all sway around the room, men, women and children all singing together. One little boy leads with a fishing rod, one woman carries a basket on her head. The men wear conical hats, they circle round the room, all singing and dancing in trance, wonderful. Then a blessing and time to leave, at nearly midnight. This was sad as this was our last time at the Ashram. Then Ken annouced he was paying for a bus for 45 of them to join us at a temple near the beach on Saturday night to join us in one last trance dance. Fantastic. Everyone said goodnight to us as we were leaving, they welcome us so easily into their ceremonies. They join in with us, laugh with us, and treat us like one of the family. How good is that?

day 9

Ok nice lazy start to the day with swim and an hours sunbathing before we had to load up and ship back to Ubud, to out original hotel. Which is nice, but no where near as nice as the Retreat. Lunch and check in in Ubud, then out to our regular lady healer for trance dance and exorcism. Am pleased to report that out of 7 of us only myself and Karen were free of any entities. I believe I am free since the chemo just about destroyed everything in my body !! And Karen is a pure soul anyhow. But the test was interesting. We sat on the floor in the ancestors altar and the healer blew on us. Then as we laid back she trod on our legs beginning just above the ankle, starting on the right leg. If she found nothing there she when onto the left leg. According to the ' posessed' if she hit the right spot the pain was unbearable. We certainly saw them squirm. If it was in the right leg then it had really settled in. If in the left then only just attached and only in the Aura. But would eventually end up in the right leg. At the very end she did test on Dharma, Kens Bali born assistant. As soon as she stepped on his right leg he screamed. What followed was hard to watch. Dharma is a fit muscular guy. When the healer stepped on his leg he screamed in agony. Having gone before I know that her weight is enough to know she's doing it but not enough to hurt. Unless you're posessed I guess. As she put a bit more weight on his leg she spoke to him in Balinese. I dont know what she said yet, but Ken has said he will fill us in.Dharma screamed in agony and I think he asked her to stop. I guess she said no and asked the entity to leave. He emmitted a low gutteral sound, that sounded evil. She started to shout at him as he squirmed beneath her. Then the guys dragged him to his feet and stood before her. She breathed on him and he screamed, then he jumped to one side and his arms stretched out in front of him, almost like a superman pose. Except you could see his body convulsing and all his muscles contracting. He appeared in agony. She continued to shout at him, and suddenly his body leapt up and then slumped in relaxation, exhausted. Frightening, wonderful to witness. Because of the ammount of entities she decided a golden coconut melukat would be appropriate, so we went throught the ceremony. I ended up soaked, like a wet T shirt competition. We all laughed. Then we walked to as nearby temple to Shiva. A local priest arrived and conducted the prayer ceremony. I suppose I should explain what happens. In all temple prayers, we are given a small bowl of flowers and a josh stick. The priest/ priestess then offers prayers in the form of chants and mundra's. Then we pray, firstly washing our hands in the smoke from the Josh sticks, then putting our hands in prayer position, but the thumbs touch our third eye. Then we take a white flowerin our fingers and continue to pray as before. Then we replace white flower with a combination or a little spray if praying to Kiun Qin. Then priest comes round and flicks holy water over our heads then pours holy water into our hands. We drink three times. The forth goes over our face and heads. Then we take a small handful of rice and stick it to our foreheads and eat three pieces. Thats it done. Only problem I have is often we have to sit crossed legged on floor. I really cannot do this due to old broken hip injury. And as I must not point the sole of my feet toward the Altar can make for a few interesting positions. But somehow I manage. Tonight I got to sit with Kens partner Samphos. He is 30 years old and an ex monk from Cambodia. He is so loving, we all get lots of hugs from him. I joke with him that he is my long lost son, and we all laugh. Tonight during the ceremonies a Gecko kept calling. Samphos told me that 5, 7 or 9 calls were lucky. We kept counting. The last set of calls totalled 7, so we both clapped and cheered, and laughed, a lot ....

day 8

Had a really relaxing day, by the pool sunbathing. The rest of the girls went to lunch courtesy of Samphos, but I didnt feel hungry so decided to make the most of the quiet and stayed by the pool. It was so good to have peace and quiet and time to myself at last. As I laid there going over a few of the things that has happened, I realised how peaceful I have become. I also know that all my chakra's are up and running. My spiritual energy has been increased to beyond that which I had before all this. In actual fact I feel overun. Its amazing. We are all like this now. Free spirits, we are like children all happy sometimes sad, with it changing minute by minute. Its a really good feeling. Ken asked me how I saw it, and I replied that when we trance dance its as though we are all weaving energy. Each of us has our own particular way, and each piece is as important as the next. The healer is bringing all the pieces together and joining them together, hers is the binding. Like an energetic patchwork quilt. Each piece is unique and the whole is unique. A one off. And somehow we all benefit from this work, each in a different way- uniquely. If one of us was missing, the quilt would lack the quality that it now has. Its a humble work of art, but one to be treasured and honoured. A memory of this time that we all share together.

Later Ken came to my room and gave me a 'Bars' session. This is energy work conducted over the head area only. It felt good and really energised me. Have looked on internet and found lady in UK that teaches it. Thats my next course !!

Later the lady healer came over and we walked through the dark to the 'Temple of Death' to meet her there. The Temple is dedicated to Durka- goddess of death. Dharma said he and other Balinese people are affraid to go there after dark as there are a great many spirits. We said prayers and gave offerings, then we started to dance. Only two songs this evening. Emma started to channel Rotunia but didnt go the whole way, so no great things to report. Other than I didnt feel affraid at all.

When we started our walk back the healer came up to me and held my hand. As we walked through the darkness she started telling me the names of things in Balinese and I gave her the English word. We laughed at the fire flies that are so big here. She asked me if I was happy, and I said yes very, we just carried on  laughing and she kept saying I was old friend of Ratunia. And I said yes old smoking friend, We laughed some more. Then she said soon not so happy and made a sign for tears running down her face, and said you go back. So I looked at her and said ------ ( her name) shall be in my heart, pointing to my heart. Then we laughed some more, linked arms and carried on. It seems so natural to behave this way with her. It really is like she is an old friend. We shall be back at her Ashram tomorrow - and I think we will all be tested for posession. Have to pack in the morning to return back to out original hotel in Ubud. Which is nice, but really not as nice as this one....

day 7

We had a lazy morning, then off to the lady healer for more trance dance. Its amazing how we can all now go there and feel completely relaxed and able to dance freely. Emma had asked for an exorcism so after the dancing we went down to the ancestors altar. She asked Emma to lie on the floor and put one of her feet on Emma's right leg, just above the ankle. Emma yelped in pain. That meant there was an entity inside her. The healer carried on working on Emma's leg with her foot. She told Emma to help her push it out. From somewhere inside Emma this growling wail came out, and more and more as she writhed on the ground.   Then she somehow got Ken to take the entity into his body and purge it out. Then Ken and Dharma  helped Emma to her feet and took her to the front of the Altar. There she said she would top up Emma's energy. Which she did and Durga came forth. Emma's tongue came right out of her mouth and rested on her chin. It was amazing to see this and interesting in that Emma had been complaining of pain in that leg when she went into trance. Now she says it has gone. The healer said the entity was a small redheaded girl with freckles. She said she was crazy ! The rest of us are being tested in a couple of days time. Shall keep you posted.

Then back into the minibus to drive over to the youngest of our lady healers. We had another Melukat, this time I had mine with Emma and we howled with laughter all the way through it ( and when I say howled, I mean howled !!) The healers uncle was there too. His energy was very strong and when we we meditating to her singing he came around all of us and put his fingers above and below our third eye. When he did it to me I thought he just put one finger on my third eye. Anyhow it felt as though his finger actually entered my third eye, like a finger going into Butter. Then an explosion of colour in my third eye. Then he and Dharma helped me lay down. I thought I could feel something happening above me, but the singing is so ethereal that you just feel mesmerised. Dharma later told me that the Uncle had worked on me after they laid me down because he could feel I had not been well. He asked Dharma what it was. Dharma told him and he worked on me for quite a while. I know when I 'came to' I felt so peaceful and calm. Then back to our hotel for dinner. As we have most of tomorrow off we got out our bottles of wine and Vodka and imbibed. Later when I got back to my room I was able to skype Dennis. How surreal is that?? Here I am halfway round the world and on my little netbook I am able to see Dennis and my cats, back home in my kitchen ??...

day 6

Today was the hardest so far. I was tired when I woke up. We had time for a quick swim and then off to see the male healer. On the way the traffic was backed up. The roads are very narrow and twisty so progress was slow. It turns out that the temple near the healer was celebrating its 210 day birthday, he said over 1.5 million people would go there over these few days. And as its the Buddha full moon, it was very popular. It the end we decided to walk the last half mile- it was all uphill. Then when we got to the healers we had to walk to his open air platform, again up hill. We sat and had lunch ( I find sitting on the floor difficult, and we do it A LOT). Then we did a chakra opening meditation which was very interesting. Then it was time to walk down to the river for the river Melukat. It was all downhill, but because it had just rained it was very slippery. I fell onto my butt twice. I should also say it was quite a trek. Then when we arrived we had to undress in the open air and put on our sarongs. Very funny as we have 2 gays and a very much male guy with us. I dont have a problem and just get on with it, but its funny watching people trying Mr Bean style to undress behide towels. Then came the shock, we had to climb bare foot over the river using rocks as stepping stones. Some were small and very slippery, some were large and quite a way apart. Either way it was a disaster for me, and my tender feet. Without the help of the healer, his daughter, Sampos and Dharma I would never had made it. After a series of prayers and blessings, we started the ceremony. We stood in a line in the water with a little reed basket full of flowers and a josh stick on our heads. We have to send all the stuff we wanted to let go of, but kept sticking to us, up into the basket. Then we had to push the basket off the back of our heads and without looking back and focussing our attention forward, we had to dive under the water and swim upstream. I actually enjoyed this part until the water became shallow and I had to pull myself upstream over rocks, slithering very unganly until we reached another deep pool. This one had a waterfall at the end. We had to dive one at a time into the water toward the waterfall. The healer grabbed us and helped us get in front of it. Then we had to put our heads into the flow of water for as long as we could,the flow was very strong and it was freezing. Then we had to cup our hands and drink 9 times. This was for abudance. Then over to a smaller waterfall to allow the water to run over our necks. Then whilst we waited for the others to do the same we had to be in the water upto our necks. Althought the outside temperature was about 26 c ( temp had dropped a little due to the rain) the water was apparently very cold. Everyone's teeth were chattering. I was nicely comfortable and couldnt understand why they were so cold ( weird eh ?) After that we scrambled over rocks until another deep spot. At this one we had to submerse ourselves as long as possible. The ones that didnt sink were gently pushed under by the healer. Im glad to say my lessons in the pool helped and I sunk. When I game back up I had to drink more water and float on my back facing the flow. Wearing a sarong for this sort of thing is a bit of a disaster as mine ended up round my waist. ( good thing I had bikini bottoms on eh?) . The healer looked onto my crown, laughed and said GOOD NOW OPEN. Thank Christ for that !! Then onto the spring. There was a rock under it and we had to kneel on the rock and stick our heads under this torrent 11 times. Then drink 11 times. Again I found this easy ( I know its hard to believe Dennis) Then another blessing in the water and then we scrabbled out. My feet were/ are so sore. Worse still we had to walk about a mile or so across paddy field boundaries onto the road. Where the minibus was waiting for us. So much for hospital telling me to take it easy for the next couple of years !!

Later, this evening we met yet another healer. This lady goes into trance and reads your energy. The hotel has its own temple which the local community uses. But tonight we had it to ourselves. Under the Mega Buddha Full Moon, she went into trance. When it was my turn she kept thumping her left breast. Ken had already told her of my problem on the right side. Then she spun round and grabbed me under the left breast and told me through Ken interperating that there was a problem, a tiny miniscule area of concern ( she kept tearing a flower petal, smaller and smaller) She said it was bad energy. Then she started hissing and trying to get through my clothes to my skin. I had tucked my blouse into my Sarong, so as she was not going to give up I pulled my shirt out of the Sarong and pulled it up. Exposing my flesh. She then dug her hands into the flesh under my left breast and emptied it into the holy water vessel her husband was holding. Then she hissed a lot more and seemed to spit something into the holy water. Hissing and spitting like a mad cat. Then she said she had removed the bad energy. She felt my right side was ok, but that I should take care and make sure I go for my scans and to keep checking that side. Her Husband said she had done this only a few times with people. But when she had removed this negative energy they were all OK. But to make sure I keep an eye on it.

Bloody Hell what a day. Thought I was going to break my neck at the river. Did not expect to undergo Physic surgery this evening. But you know what?- bring it on. I feel my body is so much lighter, although physically I am beginning to feel worn out. Onwards and Upwards !!

day 5

What a day we,ve had. First thing Paula and I rescued a poor bird that had gotten trapped in a long line of cotton about 30' up. We did it by using bambo poles we found lying around. Or I should say Paula did all the hard work I just assisted, but it felt good to help the poor thing. Then after lunch we went to our lady healers local temple where the priest and priestess are her in -laws. In Bali every Temple has a birthday every 251 days which is a Balinese year. Today was this temple's birthday. So we participated in the ceremony which included more water being poured on our heads - are you beginning to see a pattern here?? Anyhow we received our blessing and then returned to our lady healers Ashram for more trance dance. We all had a great deal of fun which ended with one of the attendants singing a local song. This little guy had been about to die and was brought to the Ashram, where the healer worked on him. He got so sick that they took him to the hospital. But he wouldnt stay and insisted on going back to the Ashram. And he has stayed as an attendant ever since. He is tiny, and when the energies start flowing he becomes a horse or a Naga, But today she blew on him and he sang the sweetest song.

We went to see a fire dance show tonight. Local men pretending to do trance dance. It was entertaining but obvious that its put on for tourists. I thing if half of them saw the real Bali they would be on the next plane home. !! Been talking to Ken about our walking on planet C today. He does a healing thing called bars. He asked if I would like some, and hopefully we shall get some time over the next few days so that I can receive some.

We are now at ' The Retreat' it is heavenly. As I type this I am in a huge four poster bed with beautiful lace curtains all around, flower petals were strewn all over the bed. The ceiling is vaulted and made of some kind of thatch, the suite is like a small bungalow. My bathroom is out through my dressing room in a courtyard. And I just had a shower in the open air under the biggest full moon you ever saw. Out front I have my own verandah and a huge daybed, just for me. Life doesnt get much better than this. I dont believe I have ever been anywhere as luxurious. I havnt really seen outside as we arrived in the dark at 9pm, but I know I wont be dissapointed. Postscript  breakfast next morning- I really am in Paradise !!!.....

day 4

Today we had a quiet morning, which was good as we were all exhausted from the trance dancing late the night before. So this afternoon we were taken to a river shrine, were we met our male healer. It was a beautiful place, but as always shrines seem to be either very high up or very low down. This was low down so we had to walk down a lot of steps. At the bottom there was a stream that entered the river via a small cave causing a T junction. This configuration makes a sacred area. Just up from the 'T' was a line of 9 pipes sticking out from the rock and then 3 smaller ones coming from the rock around the shrine. The river was not very deep and we were asked to form a line opposite one another. Then starting with Emma we had to sit in the river whilst the healer put a small basket of offerings, including a josh stick on our heads. We had to intend that any things we no longer wanted or served us were to be sent to the basket. Then the healer gently pushed us backward into the water until we were completely under. the basket meantime floated off. Our job was to splash water after it to ensure it entered the main stream and floated off. Then we were turned around so that our heads enetered the little cave. The healer supported our necks whilst we floated and rubbed our crown chakras whilst praying. Then we each had to step under each pipe, from which the water fell quite violently, untill we finished at the 3 at the alter. I absolutely loved this ( I know Dennis, I used to be frightened of water). I could have stayed there all day. But we had another appointment with a different healer. This one was a very petite 26 yr old priestess. The story behide her is that she died about 7 years ago. Her body had been prepared for buriel but she suddenly came back to life. On her return she had been gifted with understanding of all the prayers and Mundras, and caused such a stir that the Balinese TV got involved. After a lot of tests carried out by the priesthood ( who really dislike young woman knowing more than them) it was widely acknowledged that she has some amazing abilities. When we met her she was praying and using Mundras. She looked ethereal. She then performed Melukat on us. This time we were standing whilst she knelt above us at the alter. The pour of water was continuos. This time I did not wail but stood there head held high and breathed in after each soaking and out during the water flow. The energy was amazing. I felt elated, in fact I laughed through some of it. ( My love of water is now becoming a little bizarre, I know) After we had changed we joined her on her verandah, where we meditated whilst she sung to us in Astral. A language from the Universe. The song was mesmerising and otherworldly. When she had finished she spoke about our relationship with the Universe. It was startling to realise her beliefs are very similar to mine. Then she suddenly started to talk to us about yoga. She is getting instruction from the Universe on how to use yoga to improve the energy within our bodies. Suddenly I understood why today had been difficult for Karen. Karen is training to become a Yoga teacher and this afternoon was her time. Dont get me wrong. We all gained a lot from this experience, but I believe this one was specifically for Karen, to help her on her journey. It did certainly inspire her, she was very animated about it afterwards as she too had seen the connection. Unfortunately when we got back to the hotel she was sick ( purging, healing crisis ?) and went straight to bed. I believe she will wake up refreshed and inspired in the morning.

Tomorrow we have another ceremony in the afternoon in preparation for the full moon, then back to our lady for trance dance, then to an evening fire ceremony. After this we will transfer to another hotel. This will be another late nite, so I may not get the opportunity to update my blog until the day after. Namaste

day 3

Wow what a day!! Had a couple of hours this morning around town to do a bit of shopping which is great, except I need a container so that I can fill it with 6 ' high Ganeshe, Buddha Shiva etc. Then another swim underwater. Then off with Ken for lunch and then we visited an ancient temple to Ganeshe. Again it was an outdoor temple that is still in use, set amongst paddy fields surrounded by palm trees, beautiful. We said prayers and made offerings to Ganeshe. Then into the mini bus and to another outdoor temple where we met our healer lady and several of her ' congregation'. I perhaps should say at this point that I have made a promse not to print any of the healers names. This is because following the film ' eat,pray, love' several of the healers involved in the film were inundated with westerners looking for that quick fix. This brought with it great wealth. But the healers believe that too much wealth depletes their healing abilities, and so restrict the number of westerners they treat. And therefore keep thier energies clean and intact.

At the temple offerings and prayers were made firstly to the water gods, then to the various gods that guard the temple at their various alters. Then we all have to climb some very steep steps barefooted, the top of which Karen reached first only to be confronted by a huge monitor lizard crossing the path. Once there we again made offerings and said prayers. Then the lady healer and a couple of her attendants entered a small cave by the side of the Altar. Suddenly one of them, a lady, came out with a handful of lighted joshsticks, put the joshsticks lighted end first into her mouth. Bit the ends off and swallowed them. With that she sat on the ground in trance. Then one of the lady healers temple guardians became ' Hanuman, the monkey god' and came through us to join her in the cave. Then she started to trance and became quite upset and began talking. We couldnt understand her, but it was obvious it was not Ratunia coming through. All her attendants went in to help her and we later found out that she had channelled an even earlier ancestor. This one had foretold of a great change in the energy. The new energy was red and would be a creative energy of change for all of us. It was amazing to witness this. By now Hanuman was given an apple to eat and was learing around at us. It was slighlty disturbing to look at him because he really did look and act like a monkey. A very large one. Then one of the attendants flung holy water on him and he became himself again and sat down amongst us. Then up more steps to the very top of the temple where we once again prayed and gave offerings.

By now time was moving on and we left there to go back to the Ashram to attend the regular Thursday night get together. As normal we began with trance dance, except where there is normally us five girls plus Ken, Dharma and Sampos, tonight the whole village seemed to be there. This was the dance of the angels, so was just for the girls. Dancing became weirder still as this time we all kept bumping into one another( as you dance with your eyes closed). Villagers started to trance as the healer moved amongst us blowing onto us. One by one they collasped onto the floor or started shouting and waving their arms. Then the dance finished, we were all doused with holy water and everyone sat down. Then the Hanuman music began and 3 guys rushed onto the floor and morphed into monkeys, picking up on the energy. I should say that Hanuman is revered in Hinduism as a loyal guardian, so he's quite an important, if not highly amusing kind of god to watch.

Then the healer announced that she wanted to dance just with us and it was to be a dance of abundance. As the music started she came into the middle of us and we all started to dance. As the dance went on she touched me, firstly we linked hands ( which is something we always seem to do) then I felt her brush over my right breast and then over my left hip and she moved onto one of the others. It felt so natural the 6 of us dancing with our eyes closed and all the village watching. How far we have come from that first day when we all felt so self conscious.

After this the music was for Durga and men and woman got onto the floor. The healer was keen that Emma joined in, but the rest of us were allowed to rest and watch. It was quite somthing to watch shy Emma dance on her own with the villages unself-consciously as the energy moved her in a slightly agressive manor.

By now it was clear that the healer was beginning to trance and very soon Rotunia came through. They got her walking stick and chair and sat her down. She was attended by Ken, Dharma and about 3 other guys from the village. As she started to chew tobacco I became aware of Emma acting strangely. She sat on the floor looking over her shoulder outside the Ashram. Paula and I had seen this yesterday, just before she became Rotunia. We moved in closer just in case she collasped when one of the attendants noticed and sent Dharma over to get her. He dragged her across the floor to join the others. When she got to Rotunia she buried her head into her lap. The healer said something that got all the villagers laughing. We later found out that she was saying this young blonde woman from halfway around the world was a younger version of Rotunia and that she obviously wanted to do the healing. So she called Paula to join them and Emma put her hands onto Paula's head and onto the head of a villager that also wanted healing. It was fascinating. Them she annouced that she wanted her smoking partner and before I knew it I was smoking a cigerette she had lit and joined the party. The villagers eyes were out on stalks as this is apparently not something that ever happens. Emma continued her healing with me and the attendants and Rotunia looking on!

After this we danced some more. Our favourite is the 'Buddha song' Om Mani Padme Hum, the exact same one as we all got from Nepal the first time. I have to say by this time I was nearly going, but I managed to hold on.

My what a night, such scary happy times. Everyone is so joyful. Some of the young village women became like children stamping their feet and shouting. Whilst an older woman became a horse and galloped round the Ashram with another womens hands on her shoulders. They fed her grass. No one minded, no one judged, everybody kept on dancing with their eyes closed, and the healer walked amongst us moving the energy. It felt at times as though we were creating the Universe with our movement, each working the energy in their own way, men, women and children all working together for the greater good of all. Can you imagine how wonderful this would be, if in our cities, towns and villagers everyone got together once a week, whole families and communities and danced with the Universal life force??

And tomorrow we have another Melukat and then on to meet another healer, this one brings energies in from Sirius A and talks in Astral. Cant quite believe how natural this has all become, it as though we do this everyday. Well I suppose we do, for the moment .....

day two

What a fascinating day, firstly with the male healer. His diagnosis of me was very interesting. He said my bottom two chakras were wide open, but my upper chakras were part closed. This makes perfect sense as the bottom chakras are all about survival and thats what I have been concentrating on for the last few months. On my past life which he diagnosed by my placing my feet on his, he said I had been a Gladiator, a very ruthless one. He then asked to look at my back where he said were 3 scars. These injuries had been life threatening but I had survived to continue to be as ruthless and sucessful as before. This actually makes sense somehow. Then onto the Melukat. He told me I was a nine flowers. He did the 11's first. It was awful to watch as he scooped flowers and water out of the container over the recipients head. Knowing it would soon be my turn. When it came to me I had to pray first ( as did everyone) holding a josh stick and a flower against my third eye. Then the water began. At first I could not breathe, then I felt something bubble upto the surface. I heard Ken say let it out and suddenly I could hear from deep within a loud moan. Then it became a wail. It went on all throught the Melukat. Everyone said afterward they were surprised that I was able to breathe as well as get rid of that deep noise. After he had finished I felt so light. His wife then annointed by head with coconut water which I had to also drink followed by rice being placed on my face and arms and chest. I felt so relieved, whether it was because something had shifted or because I had survived a near drowning, I dont know. We then had lunch which was a selection of Balinese food which was delicious.

Then back to our female healer. We started to trance dance straight way. They play Om Mani Padme Hum, which always gets us going. She moves through us blowing onto us. Then as I'm in the middle of trance she joins in and suddenly she is beside me her arms entwined in mine our hands clasped together ( later she tells us she was Kwan Yin and I was her attendant) and that is exactly how it felt. A very deep connection. Then she blew on me again and I ended up once again on the floor. Again I heard Kens voice saying let it go. This time the noise that came from so deep within was a maniacle laugh. On and on I went laughing, nearly hysterical. All around me others danced, Emma was being supported by Ken who was getting her to put her hands on all our heads. They she threw holy water on me and I snapped out of it. The guys got me to my feet and we carried on dancing together. Then she announced that we would dance with the fans. As they were being handed out we suddenly realised that something was going on with Emma. As Ken and Dharma held onto her she started to change, they shouted for a chair and as they sat her down the change in her face was startling. The lady healer knelt beside her and called for a tobacco leaf. When she gave it to Emma she started to chew on it. These leaves are disgusting - very bitter. Quite an aquired taste. Emma chewed on it like she had done so many times before. The L H then put her face close to Emma's and started to rub her legs. Then they gave Emma a chunk of tobacco which she put into her mouth and started to chew. We then realised Emma was channeling the Ancestor !! Lady healer was by now crying and hugging Emma, they were both speaking in low voices to one another. Ken said it was Balinese they were speaking. The lady healer was rubbing the tobacco onto Emma's gums. Emma was clearly enjoying this- quite bizarely. It was very moving to take my turn to place my forehead onto Emma's knee, who was now Rotunia, for healing. We were all crying.

Afterwards the healer was obviously quite upset. She said this was the first time she had been on the receiving end of Rotunia. That she was able to experience the healing process that she normally channels. That she was able to be embraced and embrace Rotunia. It was really moving. Then we were all asked how we felt, in this unique moment. When it was my turn I said how connected I had felt to her when we danced together. She acknowledged this and said she had also felt it. Ken said that in all the years he had been with her he had never seen anything like what had happened over the last two days. She said we shared a very special energy, the combination of all the energies was so very special. She felt there was a change to come for all of us. A definate shift, a transition for all of us. It was magical. I kept laughing and crying. As did a few of us. She said our tears were tears of joy, as were hers. She then invited us for breakfast at some point over our stay. Rotunia cooks this, a typical Balinese breakfast, again Ken confirms this never happens.

Then it was time to leave. As we said goodbye she hugged both me and Emma. It was a hug a felt I so desperately needed. It was like a hug from the Universe. Tonight we are back there to join the villagers in dance. Cant wait.

On the way back we were priviledged to visit a 1000 year old cave of Shiva and Ganashe. We gave offerings and prayers and chanted Om. Magical.......

First Day

OMG what can I say?? Two firsts today. This morning I got my swimming googles on and within minutes I was swimming under water. An hour later I was able to swim a lenght !! Me !! Unbelievable hey Dennis?? An then after lunch we went to visit our first healer at her Ashram. She was amazing, charismatic, charming despite the fact she speaks no English. As she gifted us our temple sashes and Ken was interperating, she told me I was beautiful and that I had an amazing clean aura.
Then the dancing started, we all went with the flow, a couple of minutes later she danced upto me and blew into my face. I stepped backwards as I felt the energy. Then she did it again and the next thing I knew I was laying on the floor feeling waves of energy wash over me, utterly mind blowing. Eventually someone splashed water on me and helped me to stand up. She then said the energy I brought in was a Mermaid energy. Which I guess tied in with the feeling I had. Then we continued to dance some more I felt really happy and childlike and light. Then we sat down as she channelled her ancestor ' Ratunia' . Her complete personar changed. Her face became fuller, her assistants gave her tobacco to chew and a cigaret to smoke. She started to speak to each of us, it was all very funny and light. Then she pointed right at me and said her ancester wanted my spirit to smoke with them. Everybody laughed. Ken said I wouldnt have to inhale it just go through the motions. I havnt smoked for about 25 years. When they handed me the cigerette I immediately took a big draw on it and inhaled right down into my lungs. It was heavenly. Now anybody who has smoked will know that a first cigarette will definately make you choke. But no sir this was heavenly. Wow how mad was that. !! She - or her tobacco spitting ancestor keep grinning and nodding at me. Then it was time for the healing as each of us went to her. When she placed her hands on me I went completely limp, I ended up with my forehead resting on her knee. The energy was so peaceful and strong.
Then she announced that it would be amusing for the ancestor to watch us dance with fans. So a assistance brought fans in for each of us and someone out on Om Mani Padme Hum. I was away, brilliant. We were all laughing as we twisted and turned in time to the music. Then it was time for our golden coconut Melukat. I went first. She stood at the alter and poured the coconut water into my hands and then onto my head. Next thing I was back on the floor . Wow. I felt really wonderful.
This is our first day, as usual we are all getting on wonderfully. Theres been lots of laughs and hugging, and a few tears. At the end she said that I and Emma share the same energy, which made us both cry , haha. Now tomorrow we start at 9.45 for a full day visiting 2 different healers then ending up back at the Ashram. Ohhh cant wait .