Saturday, 26 May 2012

Back in the Now

Being back home has proved more difficult than I thought. Although I am happy to be home, I just cant seem to be bothered to get anything done. I need to be alone and left simply with my thoughts, and I seem to be content to be this way for hours. I was also dreaming about Bali every night for the first week, stupid stunted dreams that I usually forgot most of when I woke up. Then one night this week I dreamt that on the way home from Bali I got left behide ( just outside a small town in Norfolk !) somehow I got into this old building and couldnt find my way out. My mobile phone didnt work so I couldnt phone anyone. Eventually I got out the building and was able to phone Dennis to tell him where I was !! Since that dream I have felt a little more here in the now. It was as it a little part of me did get left behind and has just caught up with me, through that dream. I know, it sounds bizarre, but that is how I feel.
The other thing is people keep commenting on my eyes, they say they have changed colour to a much deeper blue. In fact one of the ladies I met on the holiday asked me if I was wearing coloured contacts, as did Sue when she saw me the other night!  All I know is I am as blind as a bat, cant read a thing now without my glasses. But I can see what they mean, I dont spend a lot of time looking at my eyes, but since so many have commented I have been looking. And they do seem bluer, in fact there is a darker blue ring around my Iris that I dont think was there before. Cant explain that one.
As for my feelings about the trip. I still cant fully quantify anything. All I know is something in me is changing and has changed. I still feel the pull of the lady healer and her ancestors. I told Emma that I didnt think I would go back next year as I didnt think I would feel the need. However some of that is changing. Now I'm not so sure that I could say no, knowing all the others are going back. Its like theres some unfinished business. Well I will throw that one out to the Universe, and let it decide .....

No comments:

Post a Comment