conclusion

I have had a really good time and met some interesting and nice people, the Ukranians especially. I also learnt more about pendulums and crystal healing. The apartment and complex were we stayed was clean, well equipped we would stay there again. As for the seance, I have a lot of doubts. If you want to believe you have spoken to spirit then this experience would probably convince you. If you go with an open mind or have doubts then I think you would reach the same conclusion I have. Now I have had time to go over everything and reflect I conclude that the seance was definitely rigged. There are many reasons to say this and I wont go into all of them, but. I believe they were cruel to the Ukranian family. At the first seance they said it was a young child, he was 24. Which of course no-one knew until after the seance. At the second seance it was so predictable he would come through, and again I repeat if you had a last chance to kiss your young beautiful wife wouldnt you kiss her lips? Also he was the only ' contact' that didnt speak, ummm, my cynical mind says the mediums cant speak Ukraine. Each time of the seance Christine dressed in black. She never wore black at any other time. Although they were searched no one questioned, and neither did I till I thought about it yesterday, that David brought in a recording machine and took it out with him when he left the room. No one but David touched that, could that have been heat sensing/night vision goggles?. David was not searched on the way out, why? Again no-one questioned that. So do I believe in the spirit world, yes. Do I believe I was actually touched by one here in Spain. No.

Yesterday Dennis and I went back for some Spiritual healing with Rob the owner of the centre, who I must say made us all feel very welcome. We had a lovely session and I do actually believe in Robs abilities.

To conclude, I would have given anything to have been really touched by someone from the spirit world and it would have been much easier to delude myself than try and work out how it was done. However David insisted that to be able to commune with spirit you have to start by being true to yourself and know yourself. I know my own mind and this is my own opinion. They are both very professional, clever and dedicated people, both from mediumistic families. Did the spirits really exist or were they created by them. In my humble inexperienced opinion they created them.

day 6

day 6

Had a brilliant morning doing table tilting. To do this you ideally need a wooden table and at least 2 people. You then place your hands very lightly on the top and with intention ask it to move. To help it along you sing nursery rhymes VERY loudly. We had 5 of us at our table. One of which who claimed to be a 'table' medium. Needless to say after 15 minutes of singing very loudly nothing much had happened except the ' table' medium had used his strength to dig his fingertips into the table and because some floor tiles were lower was able to make the table rock. It was soooo obvious to all us ' newbies'. Eventually Christine joined us and after a lot of singing and perceverance the table began to move. When it moved it moved quickly dragging us all across the floor and then returning to its original place at break neck speed. All the time managing to avoid the other 3 tables being used which were also racing around. It was like a scene from Harry Potter, complete madness. But great fun. Apparently anyone can do it, so I warn you girlfriends who live close, next time you come round my house table tilting is deffinately on the agenda, see it as part of my research !! Then in the afternoon, David gave us a presentation on Trance mediumship. It was very interesting to me as the altered states he was refering to are very similar to Transcendental meditation. See it always comes back to what you already know. Then all the 'Trance ' mediums' were invited to sit for us. I dont think I have ever felt so embarressed. These people ' perform' on platforms in Spiritualist churches and wherever else they get invited to. It was awful, the two that managed to get into 'trance ' were clearly not and the 'spirits' they channeled were so obviously part of their own personality it made most people witnessing it cringe. At least at the end David was honest enough to tell them they were not channeling spirit and that they should stop trying and concentrate on mental mediumship. Its so sad to think that these two people have a bit of a following, probably vunerable, sad, depressed and sick people, who because of their illness or emotional state will trust any ' message' that 'spirit' gives them. Well hopefully some of what was said to them will sink in. However I doubt it as they are clearly getting ' off' on what they are doing. So it makes you wonder which of the afore mentioned states they are in. I know I may sound critical but you have to remember these people are misleading the public. One of them has a website and travels around the country doing this. Fraud. Anyhow thats not just my opinion and I have delibrately not mentioned their names. I just trust that their own conscience will stop them doing more damage. Although I think one may stop, the other will definitely carry on. If he does I will publish his name.

day 4 & 5

PS day 4/5

The day after the seance was interesting. Suprisingly quite a few people had doubts about what had occurred. The morning was spent having questions and answers. I have to say they both put up a very good line of defence. And had a perfectly reasonable explanation for all the questions asked. So by the end of the day I felt happier that more people felt like me.

On day 5 we spent the morning doing Crystal / Spiritual healing. I volunteered for healing as I have never experienced Spiritual Healing . As as he was working on the lady before me I felt the energy working on my right shoulder and I knew I had to have some too. I got on the bed and he placed Crystals in both hands and worked over my body with a larger one. I could definately feel the energies moving. Then he told me to relax and held his hands just above my body. I could feel heat and movement in my right breast area. And the Crystals in my hands were burning. The rest of the class watching said they could see the energy between us. I have to say it felt amazing.

Then later we went into the second seance. This time the two ladies that were the most vocal doubters were verifiyers. One of them had been a magicians assistant so said she knew some secrets regarding illusions etc. She throughly checked the cabinet and checked Davids binds as he sat in place. When the Seance began William came through. This time I was determined I would make contact so when the questions started I was quick to speak up. He walked over to me, I could feel a presence but remember its pitch black so I couldnt see anything. When he answered my question he asked if I wanted him to touch me, so I said yes. Without any hesitation a hand was firmly placed on my head, as we have to say whats happening so that everyone else knows whats going on. I said I could feel two big hands on my head, to which he replied ' My dear thats only one' and then he placed the other on my head. They felt enourmous and very very hot. And as he placed them he wriggled his fingers in my hair. I am convinced they were real hands, not false ones. I also have to say that the impression of his hands stayed on my head for at least an hour afterwards. Next he asked for the fluoresent plate and in front of some of the others placed Electroplasm on the plate so that they could see it. Then he said he would put his fingers in it. He then walked along the line and allowed people to view his fingers and for some to touch. I didnt get to touch them but I saw real fingers and he was wriggling and flexing them. I dont know how to explain it. Next came out little Timmy. This time we heard him run across the floor and the two verifiers were touched all over by him, and are convinced that he was 'real'. Then ' May' another of the spirit team came through and said that she was helping a young spirit to come through. The one that had tried to get through last time. We all knew it was the son of the Ukrainians, it just had to be didnt it?. She said that he wanted to touch his wife one last time. There was a lot of foreign voices and then a sob. Christine asked if the interpretor could tell us what happened. The spirit had walked upto the young widow, lifted up her face and kissed her on the forehead. It was very moving. Christine was shouting to everyone to not get emotional ( as it lowers the energies) and more music was played to bring the energies back up. I dont know how they did it. A lot of people were convinced. But I do not think it was real. The biggest reason being that the young Ukrainian would surely have wanted to speak to them all. They said he had to struggle to get through, surely to speak would have been more appropriate. He would have used Davids voice box and talked to all his family in his own language. Thats how all the other messages came through. And if he had really been there wouldnt he have kissed his beautiful young wife on the lips, one last time ?? We also had to sing 3 songs at the beginning very loudly in order for the energies to 'build', ummmm gives David time to slip out of those binds and prepare doesnt it ??. I have no other explanation.
PS day 4/5
The day after the seance was interesting. Suprisingly quite a few people had doubts about what had occurred. The morning was spent having questions and answers. I have to say they both put up a very good line of defence. And had a perfectly reasonable explanation for all the questions asked. So by the end of the day I felt happier that more people felt like me.
On day 5 we spent the morning doing Crystal / Spiritual healing. I volunteered for healing as I have never experienced Spiritual Healing . As as he was working on the lady before me I felt the energy working on my right shoulder and I knew I had to have some too. I got on the bed and he placed Crystals in both hands and worked over my body with a larger one. I could definately feel the energies moving. Then he told me to relax and held his hands just above my body. I could feel heat and movement in my right breast area. And the Crystals in my hands were burning. The rest of the class watching said they could see the energy between us. I have to say it felt amazing.
Then later we went into the second seance. This time the two ladies that were the most vocal doubters were verifiyers. One of them had been a magicians assistant so said she knew some secrets regarding illusions etc. She throughly checked the cabinet and checked Davids binds as he sat in place. When the Seance began William came through. This time I was determined I would make contact so when the questions started I was quick to speak up. He walked over to me, I could feel a presence but remember its pitch black so I couldnt see anything. When he answered my question he asked if I wanted him to touch me, so I said yes. Without any hesitation a hand was firmly placed on my head, as we have to say whats happening so that everyone else knows whats going on. I said I could feel two big hands on my head, to which he replied ' My dear thats only one' and then he placed the other on my head. They felt enourmous and very very hot. And as he placed them he wriggled his fingers in my hair. I am convinced they were real hands, not false ones. I also have to say that the impression of his hands stayed on my head for at least an hour afterwards. Next he asked for the fluoresent plate and in front of some of the others placed Electroplasm on the plate so that they could see it. Then he said he would put his fingers in it. He then walked along the line and allowed people to view his fingers and for some to touch. I didnt get to touch them but I saw real fingers and he was wriggling and flexing them. I dont know how to explain it. Next came out little Timmy. This time we heard him run across the floor and the two verifiers were touched all over by him, and are convinced that he was 'real'. Then ' May' another of the spirit team came through and said that she was helping a young spirit to come through. The one that had tried to get through last time. We all knew it was the son of the Ukrainians, it just had to be didnt it?. She said that he wanted to touch his wife one last time. There was a lot of foreign voices and then a sob. Christine asked if the interpretor could tell us what happened. The spirit had walked upto the young widow, lifted up her face and kissed her on the forehead. It was very moving. Christine was shouting to everyone to not get emotional ( as it lowers the energies) and more music was played to bring the energies back up. I dont know how they did it. A lot of people were convinced. But I do not think it was real. The biggest reason being that the young Ukrainian would surely have wanted to speak to them all. They said he had to struggle to get through, surely to speak would have been more appropriate. He would have used Davids voice box and talked to all his family in his own language. Thats how all the other messages came through. And if he had really been there wouldnt he have kissed his beautiful young wife on the lips, one last time ?? We also had to sing 3 songs at the beginning very loudly in order for the energies to 'build', ummmm gives David time to slip out of those binds and prepare doesnt it ??. I have no other explanation.

day 3

Ok, yesterday was great, in the morning was a seminar on Crystals, then in the afternoon we had a seminar on Minnie Harrison by her daughter in law. The Harrisons were a family based in the North East who over a period of several years sat in a 'circle' every Saturday night. Through the mediumistic capabilities of Minnie and her sister who had ' passed' they achieved amazing results. And photo's of the Sister in spirit. It was all very interesting. Then in the evening we had the seance. Omm, I have very mixed feelings on that one. Unfortunately they are coming down on the - unconvinced side. It seems that everyone else was convinced. But I didnt ' feel' anything. And bear in mind we were sitting in complete darkness, which heightens awareness. The ' spirits ' that came through spoke to us and we were again able to ask questions. When a question was answered the ' spirit' would then touch the person on the head. All that were touched were convinced. I did not ask a question. Then a small boy came in and walked passed us all carrying a ball that lit up in the dark asking us if we could see his hand. The boy was 9 when he ' passed' and I really struggled to tell this was a hand. It was so small for a 9 year old, even if he was small for his age. Then Louis Armstrong came through and sang and played for us, it was great fun. The lady next to me recieved a message from her father in law which sounded to me as though he was speaking via telephone long distance. And she afterwards admitted to me that she had hardly known him, but was convinced it was him ? The medium all this time sat in his cabinet bound and gagged wearing a cardigan secured by plastic ties. When the seance ended he was found in the middle of the floor still bound but with his cardigan on back to front. Was everyone impressed? It appears so. I have not had a chance yet to speak to everyone, but I do appear to be the only one that doubts. If it was a con how did they do it? I have to say it was an enjoyable evening. If it was a con they were very professional, and think about Derren Brown, he's amazing. Did I feel like that about the mediums and spirits I met in Bali. No.

day 2

Well what a day. The morning lecture was on holistic healing and was very interesting. It was delivered by the owner of the center, who was both informative and funny. Then after lunch the medium came up to give a lecture on trance and altered states. This guy is ruthless. I am so glad I was honest and said I was a deffinate beginner. All the 'mediums' are getting shot down, some of them are asking for it, but it makes me cring a bit. He is brutally honest with it and says if you dont like it tough. It was a brilliant lecture though and I enjoyed it. The main point he was trying to get accross was that some mediums are sloppy and do not discipline themselves. They are also egotistical. He was telling them how to trance well and they couldnt take it. He also tore down the theory re Ascended Masters and Fairies and UFO's. With very strong understandable theories as to why they cant come through. It was quite amusing to watch the ones that ' channel' these entities reaction. It got quite heated at times. I am learning such a lot and I am glad I came and met these guys. Its very refreshing to spend time with people who know their trade well and wont tolerate the charlatans. However all will be revealed tonight as its the first seance, which me luck !!!

Seminar day 1

Physical Seminar day 1

Felt quite anxious as I got into the car, there were 3 women in it already, and none seemed very welcoming. When we got to the center though I think we all calmed down and I got chatting to one of them who is from Ireland. The other two an American and a Turkish lady are both from London, and they are ok, although the Turkish one is a little weird.There are about 30 of us from all over, some from Ukraine, some from England and English from Spain. The 2 mediums are amazing ( thankfully), they dont take any crap ( and let me tell you there is plenty) and are very down to Earth. Christine Morgan gave us a presentation on Mediumship, which was very interesting, then we had to have a go at reading each other. I did very well and got a mention at the end of class, so am now teachers pet ! However I think what I do is more a pyhsic reading ( without involving spirit) Christine said she will work a bit with me and find out. Apparently all mediums are pyhsic but not all pyhsics are mediums. So watch this space ! In the evening her partner David went into deep trance and his ' Co- worker ' William came through. Gave us his story and told us what it is like on the other side, then went on to answer questions. It was all facinating stuff, though the deep trance session didnt have me completely hooked. Some of my fellow students however were convinced that all kinds of things happened, which to be fair Christine immediately dismissed as non evidential. That basicially means everyone has to see or hear it, otherwise it doesnt count. And I didnt see anything, together with a load of others. So here I am in the middle of Spain sitting in a room full of self proclaimed mediums and feeling just a little out of place ( and loving it).

　

Tor and back

Had a great time in Glastonbury, it has its own unique character. No big chain shops in the high street, just small independant shops selling new age goods. From Hukka pipes, to crystals to witch parafinnalia. And no one bats an eyelid. The locals openly smoke outside the cafe's, in fact one actually has a sign that says ' smoking encouraged'. The atmosphere is so peaceful, no one hurries. You can get treatments from massage to a Crystal bowl sound bath. There is a shop dedicated to ' hemp products'. Where else in England would you find all this? Its a small ugly looking town, with a big soul. We visited Chalice Well gardens and drank the rusty tasting healing waters and then the challenge of the walk upto the Tor. I have walked this many times, once quite a few years ago whilst I still had metal pins in my leg and hip holding it all together. And last year I really struggled as I was coming to the end of my Chemo, my energy ran out halfway up. But I did still manage eventually to get there. This year I practically ran up. I felt so fit and alive. It was great to come full circle. I felt very grateful as I reached the summit.
And here we are back home, for a few days and then off to Spain so that I can attend the Physical Mediumship course. I am beginning to wonder what I have let myself in for. I have recieved a whole load of do's and dont's for the two evening seances. Its beginning to feel a little out of my comfort zone. But then as you all know, I do enjoy that feeling !!

Be Grateful

Ok so heres something I do every morning when I wake up ( sometimes its a 4am ritual) I go through all the things I am grateful for. I start with Thank you for the wonderful day I had yesterday and Thank you for today.  Then I go through my list of all the other things I am grateful for. This is a real experience of positivity as I will also be grateful for any thing that hasnt gone quite right, on the basis that something unpleasant may be helpful in the future. Maybe that was meant to teach me something, how do I know at this point.  It may even be that an awful experience can trigger events that will turn into an advantage. So I am grateful. And I mean it. I am grateful for my cancer experience, boy has that taught me a lot. Without that experience I doubt I would have done all the travelling that I have this year. I certainly would not be in the place I am now.  So I am grateful for my life, I am grateful for my friends, I am grateful for the haven that is my shed, I am grateful for my continued good health, and so on.   The act of gratefulness creates positivity in the mind, it reminds you of all the things you have. This raises your internal vibration and you feel lighter.  Sometimes in our busy lives we forget all the good things we already have and instead we concentrate on the negativity of what we dont have.  Feelings of loss and want. The Universe hears this and under the law of attraction will send back what it thinks you are ordering. You think negativity and you get it back. Negativity is heavy.  Why do you think we say to each other lighten up ? How you do you feel right now? Take a minute, are you heavy or light?

Me, Im buzzing. I am off to Glastonbury for a few days. I love Glastonbury.  A lot of people think that Glastonbury is all about the music festival. But its much more than that. It is the centre of healing and new age thinking in the UK, other than maybe Totnes in Devon. It is a small town full of independent shops, most of them selling Crystals, Clothes, New Age books, CD's, vegetarian food etc. It has a lovely easy going laid back atmosphere. And magical places to sit and meditate such as the Chalice Well gardens, or the top of the Tor.  Glastonbury is considered the Heart Chakra of the world as it sits on two major ley lines, They are the St Micheal and  Mary lines. So called because in direct alighnment  are 10 churches dedicated to St Micheal and 23 churches dedicated to St Mary in a 300 mile line stretching across England. Other Chakra centers are Mount Kalaish ( Crown) and Bali ( Third Eye).  Amazing isnt it?  All that energy centered into a small sleepy town. Anyhow shall let you know how we got on, yet another small adventure.

Lymphodema Nurse

Thought I should tell you about my visit to the Lymphodema Nurse last week. In case you wonder what one of those is, she is qualified in Lymphatic drainage. As I have had my Lymph nodes removed in my right arm I am at risk of developing Lymphodema as fluid can collect in my hand and arm, if it gets really bad I will have to wear a compression arm covering, and if it gets really bad my arm can expand to huge proportions. If this happens it will never return to the same size. So I do realise its a potentially serious thing. I rang and made an appointment because fluid does collect in my hand just below my ring and little finger, and being responsible I know its best to get help before it gets worse. My appointment went like this;
Nurse; Hope you are not going to sit on that bed with your legs crossed !
Me; I uncrossed my legs.
Nurse; I hope thats not a suntan.
Me; Decided not to tell her about my shop said, yes Ive been on holiday.
Nurse; And who said you could do that
Me; Jenny Smith , my consultant said it would be OK. My Oncologist said go off and enjoy yourself.
I couldnt bring myself to tell her just how many ' holidays ' I have been on this year.
Nurse; Whats that on your nails.
Me; Its Gel and its ok, the girl knows not to push back my cuticles.
Nurse;  And what type of massage are you doing.
Me; Deep tissue and Hot stones.
Nurse; Whats Hot Stones
Me; You know stones get heated up in a thing like a slow cooker and I hold them in my palms and massage.
Nurse; Dont do that ever again
Me; Dont say anything but thinks - yea right !!
Nurse; And what about hot baths?
Me; Well I like a soak on a Saturday night ( with a cold glass of Cava, listening to Bottcelli)
Nurse; Not hot water though.
Me; thinking; Bloody hell- whats left. What can I do.?
Nurse; Are you doing your exercises
Me; oh yes ( when I remember)
Nurse; Starting to gently massage my arm and hand says, You see youve got to remember you are damaged now. You will never be the same.
Me; thinking; Ive always been damaged, nothings changed. Oh I see she means my arm, oh damaged thats an interesting concept. Here was me thinking I'd got rid of stinking Cancer that was intent on killing me, didnt realise I was damaged, I thought I was 'cured'. Silly me. So I say -damaged?
Nurse; oh yes you will never be the same ( yes thats true, but no need to remind me), you have been damaged beyond repair. You have to look after yourself.
Me; thinking; Silly old me, I thought I was looking after myself. Says - Ah well I'm only doing a few clients and I only do one massage a day. And I only work 4 days a week and thats only if I have clients. And only a third of them have massage. So I dont do much.
Nurse; Good because you are damaged, dont forget. And what about your mind, how do you feel if you feel unwell.
Me; Well its a mind fuck, I immediately think its come back. Then I take a deep breath and talk to myself. I realise its part and parcel of living on planet C.
Nurse; Well it will always be that way Im affraid. Now lets see how you get on. If it gets worse we shall have to get a ' garment' to put on it when you are not working to help with drainage. ( She means a compression thingey that covers my arm completely).
Massage over, I gave my thanks and left. I went in happy with my lot, feeling good about myself, having a nice day. I left with' Damaged' ringing through my head. Now I'm strong and positive, and totally prepared to take the mickey out of myself. But what if I was the opposite? What if I wasnt in a good place. Now I'm not knocking her knowledge or her advice, in fact Im glad she's there.  Its the delivery that could do with a little tweaking me thinks. Anyhow got into my car,  turned up my radio and smiled. Damaged! Thats just her Fucking opinion.