Ops

Crikey time is moving on, its been ages since my last post. In that time we have booked a week in Gran Canaria and I have been back to see the consultant that did my reconstruction. He  said I can have as much work done on my reconstruction as I want. I have decided I dont want a fake nipple- why would you ? And will instead have a tittoo, however there is a ridge of skin that is a bit proud and he can work on that which I think would be better. We also discussed lifting the other one. Now I would not bother with this other than the practicalities. Having one much lower than the other makes bra wearing quite uncomfortable. My main concern about all this is that I am not looking forward to another stay in hospitable and another aneasthetic. However he said this work would be done as a day patient and that if I really did not want aneasthetic he could do the surgery using local only. This brings other issues as I would be fully aware of what was going on and he could not guarantee that I would not feel anything, there may be some sensation. Gosh ! What do I do? We have decided this op would be carried out in July so as not to interfer with my Bali plans. I have an appointment with him in May and by then I should have decided what I want done. So more operations !!
In the meantime I am restarting my therapies next week and hoping to be able to restart my life. Of course the old mind fuck thing clicks in ( what if it comes back) but I hear that everytime I arrange something. I have to just shut that out of my mind and get on with it. What other choice do we have? When you live on planet C this is a regular occurance. I am not the only one. There are milllions of us, all living on this planet, with our insecurities to keep us company. Its quite a lonely planet but we get used to it.  However we make the most of it as usual and carry on