Friday, 26 October 2012

What a difference a year makes ? !

Whew what a week ! One of the girls is on holiday so Dennis is covering the shop.  I have had a  Reiki Master class for 3 days. I love teaching Reiki, its really fulfilling, but can be quite tiring as my mind must be fully present for 3 whole days, which is quite a record for me !!
Still trying to come to terms with my ' all clear ' and wondering why this has caused me this slight upset. Can you believe I could be upset with an all clear  ? I think its the old ' mind fuck' thing doing my head in. I just dont know what to think or do. Its one thing thinking your life is ending and something completely different to think your life is just beginning. Please dont get me wrong, I am ecstatic and keep smiling to myself ( like an idiot), its just that I suddenly find I have no plans. I simply dont know what to do next. The Universe seems to have abandoned me, I have no direction, although as Dennis points out I will probably get something in Thailand, but I hate being in this no- mans land. One thing I do know is I do not want to go back to how things where. Dont get me wrong my life was fine before all this started, but being re-born is such a waste if you dont do something with it. Although again as Dennis points out if I decide to have a reconstruction next year thats 3 months out of the equation. I think I must just be suffered pre travelling syndrome, I hate the lull and the rush ( because I always get both) before I travel.  Maybe Thailand will give me the opportunity to mull over the rest of my life ( whatever that may be), and hopefully I shall return with some answers, but who knows? Last year at this time I was looking forward to a week in Gran Canaria having been told I shouldnt go and bring radiotherapy treatment forward as I had an ' agressive' cancer, now only a year later I'm off to Thailand cancer free.  How do you make sense of that ?
Enjoy the weekend and dont forget we get an extra hour in bed tomorrow night !

1 comment:

  1. do you think that the universe is not giving you a new direction because it needs you to take time to heal yourself before deciding what you need to do. I am terrible at rushing at everything but I absolutely feel that the Universe has put its brakes on to slow me down this year and it is teaching me not to get so frustrated when nothing moves at the pace I want to. You have had a tough year and you have come through a lot and you are clear of Cancer - may be you should sit back and enjoy that for a bit!! and I am sure Thailand will give you a new direction! love you loads and loads suzxxxx