Whew what a scorcher. Am in my shed with curtains across the door keeping out the sun, unbelievable.
Front page of Grimsby Telegraph is reporting on the death of a local women who had been fighting breast cancer for 3 years - it reapearred in her liver. She was 33 and had done loads of fund raising since her diagnosis. What a waste, this fucking disease is so indescriminate. So it appears is the success of the treatments. Its like a lottery. Still you have to be in it to win it !! And I'm deffinately in it. Have a C T scan over in Hull on the 17th October to prepare for the radiotherapy when I get back from my holiday. Before that however is a blood test on Monday to check my progress- which in view of my recent problems I am not looking forward too. Still apart from that I am feeling stronger and much better. Have done a little painting on my shed today ( just finishing off bits - Den did most of it last week) and felt ok although I did lay down for a rest afterwards and fell asleep !! Still, will get a bit stronger every day until I'm up and running which hopefully wont be long.....
Friday, 30 September 2011
Thursday, 29 September 2011
Back in Land of Living
Well what can I say ?? I was soo pleased that I had finished chemo. Soo looking forward to a few weeks of normalcy when BANG the Universe decided I needed bringing back down to earth. And what a way to do it!! Woke up feeling very tired last Wednesday but put it down to all the effort put into selecting my new boots. However by Friday felt really fatigued. By the late afternoon felt very unwell and discovered I had a temperature. To cut a long story short I ended up in hospital with a really low white blood cell count. This is not unusual in Chemo treatment, but I had thought I had gotten away with it. The thing is the fact that white blood cells help the body to fight infection so a low count leaves you at risk of being unable to fight off any infection that your body comes across. So I ended up with a temperature of 39.1 and a really bad cold. I have spent the last four of five nights on the A1 ( cancer ) ward in a room on my own. It was a nice comfy room with en-suite and TV etc, and all the staff on the ward are brilliant. Unfortunately as you are all aware my body does not like having canula's etc inserted so that has been a bit of a nightmare. I started off by having one inserted into my foot ( that was so painful I cant begin to tell you) in Resus. Then after that failed because the veins in my arms kept collapsing there was a decision made to insert a line into my neck. I have since found out this does come with a lot of problems. Eventually thank God a young doctor managed to get a canula into the back of my hand. This was to enable the insertion of anti biotics into my body to fight off the infection. I can happily report that the drugs worked and I am now back home in my shed, a bit tired still but feeling a whole lot better. I would like to say a big thank you to my friends for visiting me. It does get very boring when you start to feel better, so a visit from a friend does help to pass the time. And a very big thank you to all the staff on A1 for enabling my recovery. So onwards and upwards - a few days readjustment and then back out into the world. Hurrah !!
Monday, 26 September 2011
news from A1
Dennis again. Bronia still in hospital and seems very comfortable in her en-suite quiet hotel room although I'm pretty sure she would rather not be there. Still having IV anti-biotics plus injections to get white blood cells inreased - temp not settled and as no doctors around on Sunday no news on when she gets her release papers. As you can imagine Bronia starting to get restless and looking forward to getting back to normal.
Sunday, 25 September 2011
back to hospital
Hi everybody Dennis here with an update as Bronia is back in hospital. Thursday night and Friday Bronia really tired, sore throat, ulcers and then pm Friday high temp. Hospital told her to go to in immediately as temp over 38. Got to A & E about 6.45pm and had to endure 30 mins surrounded by sick people.Put in resus room and eventaully a very nice dreadlock regae reggae doctor managed to get a line into foot and started IV anti-biotics as temp was now 39.1 and doctor very concerned. Bronia spent night with very little sleep in ward and them moved to A1 which is cancer ward. Happy there as she has own en-suite room with tv but no mini-bar!
Went to see her yesterday evening and seemed much better - white blood cell count very low so means very susceptible to any bugs or infection so given injection to help raise this count plus still getting anti-biotics. Think she will be in hospital for hopefully only a couple of more days. Thanks to Caroline for helping Friday and to Sue for her help and everybody for their good w ishes. Will keep you updated on progress
Went to see her yesterday evening and seemed much better - white blood cell count very low so means very susceptible to any bugs or infection so given injection to help raise this count plus still getting anti-biotics. Think she will be in hospital for hopefully only a couple of more days. Thanks to Caroline for helping Friday and to Sue for her help and everybody for their good w ishes. Will keep you updated on progress
Wednesday, 21 September 2011
Retail Therapy
Feeling so much better. Ok so mouth is all peeling inside and think I might be getting an ulcer, I still have the ' runs' . But I am feeling good !! Whooo hooo
Den and I went into Grimsby this morning and had a wander around the shopping centre. Went into Binns for coffee - the coffee shop opens onto the shoe department. This is great because I was able to leave Den drinking coffee and reading newspapers while I wandered around looking at my favourite things- Boots. Now I dont care much for shoes but I love Boots. I have several pairs in my wardrobe that I cant walk in and dont wear anymore and I will send them to a charity shop. But I didnt want to leave a big gaping space in their place as it might cause me some kind of boot shortage anxiety and I have to avoid that at the moment . So whilst Den took some well deserved relaxation I wandered around the department. I picked up all the boots I liked and stroked them and felt them and when I was ready I gave the assistants details of the boots I wanted to try on and the colour choices ie if they came in brown and black to bring both. Soon I was in heaven- surrounded by soft supple leather in all the colour combinations. My legs were encased in all kinds of styles as I paraded back and forth between the coffee shop and the shoe department so as to get Den's expert opinion ( well just to let him feel included) as I judged each boot on its merit. I was so happy, Dennis was happy watching me in my favourite pastime. The assistants were happy too as I was their only customer and it made me feel glad to give them something to do in an otherwise boring morning. Sending them back and forth into the bowels of their storeroom to emerge minutes later with yet another heavenly opportunity in leather for me to appraise. And so it went on until all options were exhausted. And then as with all highs- came the low, which should I choose ? What colour ?
Ah to hell with it I'lle take two pairs one in each colour!
What a morning- Chemo Fog vanished for all time by the best therapy of all - RETAIL !!
Den and I went into Grimsby this morning and had a wander around the shopping centre. Went into Binns for coffee - the coffee shop opens onto the shoe department. This is great because I was able to leave Den drinking coffee and reading newspapers while I wandered around looking at my favourite things- Boots. Now I dont care much for shoes but I love Boots. I have several pairs in my wardrobe that I cant walk in and dont wear anymore and I will send them to a charity shop. But I didnt want to leave a big gaping space in their place as it might cause me some kind of boot shortage anxiety and I have to avoid that at the moment . So whilst Den took some well deserved relaxation I wandered around the department. I picked up all the boots I liked and stroked them and felt them and when I was ready I gave the assistants details of the boots I wanted to try on and the colour choices ie if they came in brown and black to bring both. Soon I was in heaven- surrounded by soft supple leather in all the colour combinations. My legs were encased in all kinds of styles as I paraded back and forth between the coffee shop and the shoe department so as to get Den's expert opinion ( well just to let him feel included) as I judged each boot on its merit. I was so happy, Dennis was happy watching me in my favourite pastime. The assistants were happy too as I was their only customer and it made me feel glad to give them something to do in an otherwise boring morning. Sending them back and forth into the bowels of their storeroom to emerge minutes later with yet another heavenly opportunity in leather for me to appraise. And so it went on until all options were exhausted. And then as with all highs- came the low, which should I choose ? What colour ?
Ah to hell with it I'lle take two pairs one in each colour!
What a morning- Chemo Fog vanished for all time by the best therapy of all - RETAIL !!
Tuesday, 20 September 2011
What a Bitch
Hello everyone- I am back in the land of the living. Having had awful joint pains - like someone knocking nails in my ankle's and knees and having a brain that was pratically paralysed, I am pleased to announce IT HAS PASSED !! Yipppeee now the only way is UP!! I am finally being released from this 3 weekly HELL.
I am making a fuss about this because I had an appointment today with Ms Spensley the Radiotherapy person. What a Cow !!! You may remember that Dr Butt the Oncologist has said that this lady would not be happy that we had booked a holiday. Well she wasnt. We didnt get off to a good start because when she asked how I found the chemo and I laughed- she made the comment that my laugh sounded hysterical ( I didnt think so but hey, Chemo brain). I found this rather a strange comment but ignored it and carried on saying it had been very hard but I was relieved to be finished etc etc, and concluded by saying I was really looking forward to my holiday. Her face changed and she asked when was it for and where and when had we booked it. I gave her all the details and she literally spat at me - who said you could have this holiday?? I said well everyone told me I would have to wait 5-6 weeks for radiotherapy and it would be ok - she then spat- who said that?? I then said everyone else knew about it and they were all cool,what was the problem?? She literally leered at me and said ' you have a grade 3 triple negative ( dont like the negative bit) aggresive cancer, this is serious' I said yes I know its serious, I ve just been through months of hell, Dr Butt said I dont have Cancer anymore, Jenny Smith my consultant said a holiday would do me good. Everyone said I would have time between the treatments to have a holiday so I booked one. Well she went off on one saying its her job to organise the radiotherapy and no one else should be giving me wrong info. I said they need to speak to each other and decide the time scales and tell the patient in good time, as all the Macmillan info says ' they will accomodate holidays around the treatment' She practically called me a liar, had a go at Dennis who asked whether the delay would effect my treatment, saying she couldnt confirm that. She even told me I would have to have 4 weeks of treatment- I queried it because I was told 3. She let rip again. Eventually she realised it would only be 3 weeks and at least apologised for that. She then calmed down a bit and asked if I would be prepared to have the radiotherapy before my holiday. If we started right away it could be done. Dennis seemed to think this would be a good idea and before I knew it she was on the phone to Hull to see if it was possible. Now I do applaud her for that, but whilst she was holding she said the treatment would give me more fatigue, that I wouldnt be able to swim on holiday and that my breast would probably peel and be too sore to wear a bra. That said, Hull confirmed they could fit me in. Hurry she said- tell me know whilst I'm on the phone- are you going to do it. I looked at her and I said No thank you. There is no point in my going on the holiday in that state- I may as well forget it. But I am not going to do that because I have had enough for now. I will have a rest go on holiday and commence radiotherapy on my return and take my chance - thank you very much!!When seput the phone down I said that she and all the other departments should get together and decide the procedures, write them down and hand to patients when they are first diagnosed- if it is decided there should be no holidays tell them at that point, not wait until it too late. But for now I would take my chance as I need to get away from all the treatments for a bit and if the cancer comes back it comes back. Wow talk about being treated like a child. I will also add that somewhere in the conversation she asked if I had any other medical conditions, if there was breast cancer in the family, if I smoked or drank. When I said no to everything but drinking she askd how much - I said oh loads though cut down through Chemo. She then went on to say there was a deffinate link to cancer and alcohol. I then said yes but apparently the fact that I'm under 5'6" should help outway that ( recent research found ladies over 5'6" were more at risk). Now I know I was being a bit pissy at that, but it was like if I had said yes to any of the other questions she would have blaimed those. I am not looking for a reason- never have. Its irelevant. Why waste energy on asking the why's and where for's?? Nobody knows for sure. All I know is that I am not going to put myself through misery and hell asking these sorts of questions. Nor am I going to give up living. When I got out I ran into Barbara my breast nurse, apparently Ms Spensley has a reputation. When I told Barbara about the holiday she didnt seem concerned at all, she said she couldnt see the problem. I think this lady has a problem and I do feel inclined to complain about her behaviour, but Ill think on that. Now back to living- wheres that bottle of champers ...........
I am making a fuss about this because I had an appointment today with Ms Spensley the Radiotherapy person. What a Cow !!! You may remember that Dr Butt the Oncologist has said that this lady would not be happy that we had booked a holiday. Well she wasnt. We didnt get off to a good start because when she asked how I found the chemo and I laughed- she made the comment that my laugh sounded hysterical ( I didnt think so but hey, Chemo brain). I found this rather a strange comment but ignored it and carried on saying it had been very hard but I was relieved to be finished etc etc, and concluded by saying I was really looking forward to my holiday. Her face changed and she asked when was it for and where and when had we booked it. I gave her all the details and she literally spat at me - who said you could have this holiday?? I said well everyone told me I would have to wait 5-6 weeks for radiotherapy and it would be ok - she then spat- who said that?? I then said everyone else knew about it and they were all cool,what was the problem?? She literally leered at me and said ' you have a grade 3 triple negative ( dont like the negative bit) aggresive cancer, this is serious' I said yes I know its serious, I ve just been through months of hell, Dr Butt said I dont have Cancer anymore, Jenny Smith my consultant said a holiday would do me good. Everyone said I would have time between the treatments to have a holiday so I booked one. Well she went off on one saying its her job to organise the radiotherapy and no one else should be giving me wrong info. I said they need to speak to each other and decide the time scales and tell the patient in good time, as all the Macmillan info says ' they will accomodate holidays around the treatment' She practically called me a liar, had a go at Dennis who asked whether the delay would effect my treatment, saying she couldnt confirm that. She even told me I would have to have 4 weeks of treatment- I queried it because I was told 3. She let rip again. Eventually she realised it would only be 3 weeks and at least apologised for that. She then calmed down a bit and asked if I would be prepared to have the radiotherapy before my holiday. If we started right away it could be done. Dennis seemed to think this would be a good idea and before I knew it she was on the phone to Hull to see if it was possible. Now I do applaud her for that, but whilst she was holding she said the treatment would give me more fatigue, that I wouldnt be able to swim on holiday and that my breast would probably peel and be too sore to wear a bra. That said, Hull confirmed they could fit me in. Hurry she said- tell me know whilst I'm on the phone- are you going to do it. I looked at her and I said No thank you. There is no point in my going on the holiday in that state- I may as well forget it. But I am not going to do that because I have had enough for now. I will have a rest go on holiday and commence radiotherapy on my return and take my chance - thank you very much!!When seput the phone down I said that she and all the other departments should get together and decide the procedures, write them down and hand to patients when they are first diagnosed- if it is decided there should be no holidays tell them at that point, not wait until it too late. But for now I would take my chance as I need to get away from all the treatments for a bit and if the cancer comes back it comes back. Wow talk about being treated like a child. I will also add that somewhere in the conversation she asked if I had any other medical conditions, if there was breast cancer in the family, if I smoked or drank. When I said no to everything but drinking she askd how much - I said oh loads though cut down through Chemo. She then went on to say there was a deffinate link to cancer and alcohol. I then said yes but apparently the fact that I'm under 5'6" should help outway that ( recent research found ladies over 5'6" were more at risk). Now I know I was being a bit pissy at that, but it was like if I had said yes to any of the other questions she would have blaimed those. I am not looking for a reason- never have. Its irelevant. Why waste energy on asking the why's and where for's?? Nobody knows for sure. All I know is that I am not going to put myself through misery and hell asking these sorts of questions. Nor am I going to give up living. When I got out I ran into Barbara my breast nurse, apparently Ms Spensley has a reputation. When I told Barbara about the holiday she didnt seem concerned at all, she said she couldnt see the problem. I think this lady has a problem and I do feel inclined to complain about her behaviour, but Ill think on that. Now back to living- wheres that bottle of champers ...........
Saturday, 17 September 2011
Chemo Fog - last one !!
Well, didnt get out of bed until 11.15am today, having had a good night. Now in shed catching up with my busy media life, and then putting my feet up for a restful afternoon. Have recieved first posting on Cancer Community wall, which is nice, but feeling the responsibilty. Am determined not to post ' I will pray for you' or anything of that nature. Preferring to inspire people do something and make the most of the situation without getting too bogged down with praying. I personally think people should use this time to reflect and plan the rest of thier lives. However long or short, and lets face it some lives are very short. Better a short life full of quality than a long one bogged down with regret. Thats just my opinion.
As I type this I am looking down at my legs and have noticed A HAIR on my shin. Just the one but its about 1/4 of an inch long !! In fact on closer inspection theres more than one !! OMG is this the start of becoming hairy again ?? At the moment it is effecting my right leg only, but I guess the left one will catch up in due course. You see how quickly everything tries to return to normal?? Anyhow not too bad in the Fog yet. But a few more days before I can safely feel I'm out of it for good
As I type this I am looking down at my legs and have noticed A HAIR on my shin. Just the one but its about 1/4 of an inch long !! In fact on closer inspection theres more than one !! OMG is this the start of becoming hairy again ?? At the moment it is effecting my right leg only, but I guess the left one will catch up in due course. You see how quickly everything tries to return to normal?? Anyhow not too bad in the Fog yet. But a few more days before I can safely feel I'm out of it for good
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