Tuesday, 20 September 2011

What a Bitch

Hello everyone- I am back in the land of the living. Having had awful joint pains - like someone knocking nails in my ankle's and knees and having a brain that was pratically paralysed, I am pleased to announce IT HAS PASSED !! Yipppeee now the only way is UP!! I am finally being released from this 3 weekly HELL.

I am making a fuss about this because I had an appointment today with Ms Spensley the Radiotherapy person. What a Cow !!! You may remember that Dr Butt the Oncologist has said that this lady would not be happy that we had booked a holiday. Well she wasnt.  We didnt get off to a good start because when she asked how I found the chemo and I laughed- she made the comment that my laugh sounded hysterical ( I didnt think so but hey, Chemo brain). I found this rather a strange comment but ignored it and carried on saying it had been very hard but I was relieved to be finished etc etc, and concluded by saying I was really looking forward to my holiday. Her face changed and she asked when was it for and where and when had we booked it. I gave her all the details and she literally spat at me - who said you could have this holiday?? I said well everyone told me I would have to wait 5-6 weeks for radiotherapy and it would be ok - she then spat- who said that?? I then said everyone else knew about it and they were all cool,what was the problem?? She literally leered at me and said ' you have a grade 3 triple negative ( dont like the negative bit) aggresive cancer, this is serious' I said yes I know its serious, I ve just been through months of hell, Dr Butt said I dont have Cancer anymore, Jenny Smith my consultant said a holiday would do me good. Everyone said I would have time between the treatments to have a holiday so I booked one. Well she went off on one saying its her job to organise the radiotherapy and no one else should be giving me wrong info. I said they need to speak to each other and decide the time scales and tell the patient in good time, as all the Macmillan info says ' they will accomodate holidays around the treatment' She practically called me a liar, had a go at Dennis who asked whether the delay would effect my treatment, saying she couldnt confirm that. She even told me I would have to have 4 weeks of treatment- I queried it because I was told 3. She let rip again. Eventually she realised it would only be 3 weeks and at least apologised for that. She then calmed down a bit and asked if I would be prepared to have the radiotherapy before my holiday. If we started right away it could be done. Dennis seemed to think this would be a good idea and before I knew it she was on the phone to Hull to see if it was possible. Now I do applaud her for that, but whilst she was holding she said the treatment would give me more fatigue, that I wouldnt be able to swim on holiday and that my breast would probably peel and be too sore to wear a bra.   That said, Hull confirmed they could fit me in. Hurry she said- tell me know whilst I'm on the phone- are you going to do it.  I looked at her and I said No thank you. There is no point in my going on the holiday in that state- I may as well forget it. But I am not going to do that because I have had enough for now. I will have a rest go on holiday and commence radiotherapy on my return and take my chance - thank you very much!!When seput the phone down I said that she and all the other departments should get together and decide the procedures, write them down and hand to patients when they are first diagnosed- if it is decided there should be no holidays tell them at that point, not wait until it too late. But for now I would take my chance as I need to get away from all the treatments for a bit and if the cancer comes back it comes back. Wow talk about being treated like a child. I will also add that somewhere in the conversation she asked if I had any other medical conditions, if there was breast cancer in the family, if I smoked or drank. When I said no to everything but drinking she askd how much - I said oh loads though cut down through Chemo. She then went on to say there was a deffinate link to cancer and alcohol. I then said yes but apparently the fact that I'm under 5'6" should help outway that ( recent research found ladies over 5'6" were more at risk). Now I know I was being a bit pissy at that, but it was like if I had said yes to any of the other questions she would have blaimed those. I am not looking for a reason- never have. Its irelevant. Why waste energy on asking the why's and where for's??  Nobody knows for sure. All I know is that I am not going to put myself through misery and hell asking these sorts of questions. Nor am I going to give up living.  When I got out I ran into Barbara my breast nurse, apparently Ms Spensley has a reputation. When I told Barbara about the holiday she didnt seem concerned at all, she said she couldnt see the problem. I think this lady has a problem and I do feel inclined to complain about her behaviour, but Ill think on that.   Now back to living-  wheres that bottle of champers ...........

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