Bloody Hell - dont TV programmes give you a mind fuck ! Watching Holby City last night and a patient got his CT scan results almost immediately, only to find he had a massive tumour that was in-operable and that he only had weeks to live. My brain then started to hi-jack me and I started to think that the reason I had not been given my CT Scan results was of a similar nature. I decided I would recieve a letter asking me to go back to hospital where they would give me the bad news in person. Imagine then my suprise when my mobile rang at 9.30 this morning. It was Barbara telling me my scan was clear - well except for the cruddy bits we already know about.
I was so happy I nearly kissed the poor man that had just arrived to clean my carpets !!! Whew , I know its still very serious, and I know I have a fight on my hands but at least I now have a clear run.
Anyhow, the weather is good today and I can spend some time outside in my garden killing weeds and transplanting geraniums and stuff. Boring I know, but I enjoy it and lets face it I wont be doing much else this summer. My garden will become my workplace and my refuge. So am busy doing all the heavy stuff now.
Interestingly, in the miriad booklets they give you, is one on complimetary therapies. Now, my insurance company does not allow me to give a massage to someone with cancer. In this booklet however it clearly states that there is no evidence that massage can spread cancer, and that the relaxation and other benefits really help. Why dont these bodies communicate with one another ?? If as students we are taught not to massage ( unless terminal on the basis that no further harm can be done ) and patients are told they can benefit from such treatments, how can any of us get/ give the treatments we should ??
This is so typical of our society today, one group says one thing and one the other and us poor plebs are in the middle. Fuck em thats what I say !! I'm gonna do what pleases me and what feels right. I am the Commander in Chief and this is my war !