Tuesday, 5 April 2011


Still no scan results, apparently they havent got them yet, got past panicking about them and now feel resigned to getting them when they come. The Universe shall decide.

Since this all started I have decided that I can take advantage of this new found leisure time and enjoy daily meditations and Reiki sessions. Sometimes I play my CD chants of Chongtul Rinpoche which I loudly join in with, followed by invocation of Blue Buddha, sometimes I play a visualisation or sometimes I visualise my DNA helix and cleanse each strand to rid my body of this crap. I also use this time to send healing to others and to my situation, I find this really helps me to  remain grounded and calm. During my quiet time yesterday I was reflecting on the situation so far and looking forward into the future. I know that I shall emerge from this a different person. I now feel like the caterpillar on my brow, walking softly and quietly towards a chrysalis state. I shall then remain there for a period of time - suspended, vunerable,changing, a very soft center in a hard shell.
Then come next spring I shall emerge triumphant, jubilant- changed. Into what though ??? What will I be, what will I have become. When I at last spread my wings to where shall I fly. What will the world be like, so much will have moved on - Answers on  a postcard please.....


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. Along a dusty road in India there sat a beggar who sold cocoons. A young boy watched him day after day, and the beggar finally beckoned to him.
    “Do you know what beauty lies within this chrysalis? I will give you one so you might see for yourself. But you must be careful not to handle the cocoon until the butterfly comes out.”
    The boy was enchanted with the gift and hurried home to await the butterfly. He laid the cocoon on the floor and became aware of a curious thing. The butterfly was beating its fragile wings against the hard wall of the chrysalis until it appeared it would surely perish, before it could break the unyielding prison.
    Wanting only to help, the boy swiftly pried the cocoon open.
    Out flopped a wet, brown, ugly thing which quickly died.
    When the beggar discovered what had happened, he explained to the boy, “In order for the butterfly wings to grow strong enough to support him, it is necessary that he beat them against the walls of his cocoon. Only by this struggle can his wings become beautiful and durable.
    When you denied him that struggle, you took away from him his only chance of survival.”
    May the walls of your cocoon be only thick enough to allow your struggle to be just long enough to emerge the beautiful person I already know you to be (Anonymous) xxxx