Hurrah back home, bloody hospitals - they make you sick !! You go in feeling perfectly normal- within hours you feel like you are 5 years old. They fill you with tubes, wont let you go to toilet on your own, expect you to eat baby food, then keep you awake all bloody night long with their clicky clacky bloody heels. On top of that they have no sense of humour and refuse you alcohol when you ask for it and fill you full of mind altering drugs instead !! Oh and I forgot to mention I am now the proud owner of an A sized breast and an D sized one. But aside for all of that I am grateful to the staff at Grimsby Hospital they did a grand job.
I hate going under anesthetics - I find it traumatic , maybe its the lack of control. As I went into the theatre I felt quite nervous, and I have to say the guys resposible for knocking me out did nothing to make me feel any easier. Then in came an Angel - she was of Asian origin. The first thing she commented on was my Om tattoo. Then she popped an oxygen mask onto my face and said think of something wonderful and breathe deep. I had prepared myself to do this anyway and immediately took myself off to do Kora around the Stupa at Boudanath - saying the mantra ' om mani padmi om'. Suddenly I heard a voice saying ' lets do one more seesion of Reiki' and was aware of being surrounded by white light , then another more earthly one saying 'wake up Bronia you are in the recovery room'. Needless to say I became quite dis- orientated, I so wanted to stay in that white room. It was a very profound experience. Later back in the ward as I was still groggy and beginning to feel quite sick, I kept my hands on my body doing Reiki, and suddenly felt supported totally by love and light and the feeling that I was totally safe and held within the Universe, that I was precious and loved. It was once again a very moving and profound experience, one one that I can still recall, although sadly it hasnt happened again - yet.Weird I know, yet I thought I have to record it and share it, as both experiences were so real and unique to me.
Anyhow the Devil is out of my body - next step Chemo. Dont know for sure when it will start. I have to go back for a check up next week and I believe Chemo usually starts within 6 or so weeks. I am preparing for that. I have ordered a summerhouse - I'm calling it my shed. Its quite a large one 10' x 8' and its gonna be filled with all my stuff. I am looking forward to spending a very lazy summer out in it. It is going to be filled with positive energy to counteract the negative side that Chemo invearably brings. From inside it I shall be able to see all my garden and the Universe beyond. I hope you shall all pop in and spend some time in it with me........
ps thanks Dennis you did a wonderful job covering for me - now bugger off and get your own blog XXXX